Scout's Honor
by CarrieAnnB
Summary: JJ and Hotch story. A story about the chemistry and romance between them. STORY IS CLOSED.
1. The Beginning

_Author's note: Felt like posting a story...but I wasn't quite sure of what. I wrote this about a couple weeks back, but I just rediscovered it and decided to post it. Unfinished, that is. If it does well, I'll post a second chapter. If it doesn't...then it'll die alone. Haha. Thanks guys for reading! P.S. SO excited for season six!_

**_P.S. Those of you who have read my story Even Angels Fall, I apologize for not writing a seventh (it stopped at the sixth chapter, right? Wow...I don't even remember.) and I promise you I will eventually get around to it. Sorry for the hiatus! I've just had a writer's block on that story. Want to keep you guys entertained!_  
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We love life, not because we are used to living but because we are used to loving.

* * *

"Hey Hotch," JJ knocked as softly as possible on his opened office door with her knuckles. She waited until he looked up from his file to talk again. "Can I come in for a second?"

Hotch nodded, which JJ took as an invite to step inside, so she did, shutting the door behind her. The first thing she did was peek around his office only momentarily. It seemed a little darker than she remembered. Not that she ever remembered really looking before, but now that she was, it seemed much darker, scarier. Even the wood on his desk looked two shades of darker brown. It wasn't until she felt Hotch's confused look that she realized she was taking too long.

"Okay, this is going to sound really stupid, but Garcia really wanted me to ask you this..."

Hotch raised his eyebrows expectantly.

"See, we're kind of having this thing for Halloween."

"A party?" Hotch guessed.

JJ nodded and smiled. She was surprised to hear him even say that word. She didn't realize PARTY was in Hotch's vocabulary. She continued anyhow. "Sort of, yeah. I mean, it won't be a huge thing, but we're going to invite the whole team. Morgan is helping Garcia with the costumes tomorrow and I managed to talk Reid into going, and of course Rossi and Prentiss are going, now there's only...you, left." She raised her eyebrows. "What do you say?"

Hotch paused and glanced down at his file, then closed it and put it on his desk. "JJ, we're not even sure we'll have Halloween off. I mean, Halloween is the most appropriate holiday to start killing." he drew his bottom lip in shamefully. "Not that that's ever a good time, but you know what I meant."

JJ paused and nodded. Was her disappointment incredibly obvious? It felt incredibly obvious. It felt like she was wearing the disappointment from head-to-toe, like a shadow cast over her. She was already mentally shopping for costume ideas for Hotch, and she thought it'd be a really good thing for him to get out with adults outside of work. "Yeah, but you could say that about any day." she tried.

"I'm just saying, I don't think it's such a good idea to invest so much into this thing you guys are throwing when we might have to work anyway." His face stayed as hard as always and almost even more uninviting than usual. JJ nodded what felt like for the hundredth time and turned on her heels.

"I wouldn't know what to wear, anyway." he mumbled under his breath. JJ stopped sharply on her leather heel and turned.

"What was that?"

Hotch shook his head. But JJ heard him. She fought the urge to smile. He would only take that smile as a teasing gesture and get mad.

"Don't even worry about that. Us girls could go with you."

That idea frightened Hotch, which was very obvious. He shook his head rapidly. "I've got to watch Jack anyway."

JJ scrunched up her face, catching Hotch in a lie. "I thought you said Hailey's sister was taking him to see his grandparents in Florida?"

"Yeah, but who wants to go there on Halloween? He should stay with me."

JJ sighed, trying not to interfere. And also trying not to let her own selfish desires get in the way. It's not like she should want Hotch there anyway, since she's with Will and all. "Does Jack want to go?" she asked delicately.

Hotch shrugged and looked down, keeping his eyes fixated on a screw inside the desk. "I'm sure he'd like to..." he paused, realizing the truth in his own words then sighed. "I should let him go. He needs this."

She bit her bottom lip hesitantly. "I think you need to come to this party."

He looked up, his dark eyes soulful and full of sadness. They were glistening. "I'll consider it." he sighed.

That wasn't enough though. That wasn't a yes. She dug her fingernail into her palm, ashamed. She shouldn't want him to go this bad. She shouldn't be fighting this hard. "How 'bout this? Instead of Garcia and Prentiss tagging along on the costume trip, we could just go."

Hotch raised his brows. He just stared at her for a moment. She felt exposed. She felt like checking her teeth for food or readjusting her bra, she felt like she was being measured up. "I'm not wearing anything ridiculous." he clarified sternly.

JJ nodded and raised her hands. "I wouldn't ask you to do that." she said honestly, her eyes bright and excited.

"Or anything bright."

"Do you even own anything that's not black or gray?"

"No, and I'd like to keep it that way."

JJ smiled. She raised her own hand. "Scout's Honor."

He furrowed his eyebrows. "Your not a scout."

"Never was." she admitted, heading for the door.

"Then that means that oath means nothing."

She tried to conceal her evil grin, but she winked at him, informing him silently that he was in for a long day tomorrow.

* * *

"What on earth are you doing in there for so long, JJ?" Will said grumpily outside the bathroom door, tapping his feet on the wood floor. "You've been in there, what?" he checked his wrist, but his watch was laying sleepily on the bedroom nightstand. "Fifteen minutes?"

She ignored his complaints. It wasn't like her spending an exceedingly long time in the bathroom was an everyday occurrence, so why was he being so dramatic about it? It's also not like going costume shopping with Hotch was an everyday occurrence, or something she imagined happening in five lifetimes, so he should at least give her time to prepare for that.

It took the five-hundredth groan to escape his mouth soundly until she swung open the bathroom door, a bright lipstick smile on her face, welcoming him to go inside. "All yours." she said happily, as if she was doing him a huge favor.

Will fought the urge to give her an eye-roll. He walked inside and ran his toothbrush under hot water. "Why were you taking so long, anyway? I thought you were off today."

JJ nodded, exchanging purses. She was trying to decide which purse to decide on. The fact that she was putting so much precious time into her makeup, hair and outfit made her feel extremely guilty and dirty. Disgusting, even. She felt like she needed a second shower. How horrible she was. But that didn't make the decision any easier.

"Don't tell me," he mumbled through a mouthful of toothpaste. "Another case came in?"

She shook her head, deciding on a cherry red purse. Maybe it was kind of bright, but it called to her. In her basic outfit (V-neck white long-sleeved shirt, blue jeans and black heels) the purse brought a distraction. A good, sexy distraction? That was debatable. She grabbed the red purse and turned, holding it to her chest.

"Will, do you like this?" she asked.

Will turned, green toothbrush dangling from the side his mouth and shrugged.

She frowned. Then she realized what she had just done. She was asking her boyfriend if he liked the purse she was trying to decide to wear on her outing with her boss. She felt like she really needed a scrub-down. She stuffed her things in it, anyway.

"Where are you _going_, babe?" Will asked clearly, now that he was done brushing his teeth.

"Just out. Shopping." she replied so simply. Not an ounce of hesitation or reluctance in her tone. Ah, what a good lawyer she'd make, she thought.

"Why so early?" he pressed, ruffling through the closet through a strong yawn.

She dug her hands in her back pockets. "Halloween's coming up and I'm supposed to pick out costumes with my team." She bit her bottom lip, catching her own self in a lie.

"The whole team are going costume shopping?" he chuckled. "What, are you guys gonna be the whole Wizard of Oz clan?"

JJ laughed too, but that actually didn't seem like such a bad idea. Hotch dressed as the scarecrow seemed hilarious, and she couldn't control the large laugh that left her mouth. She cupped her hand over her mouth to disguise it, but it was all too late, Will was already shooting her a confused look.

"What?" he laughed too. Probably at how ridiculous she was being.

"Nothing," she choked back a guilty laugh that was coming up. "I have to go though, we're supposed to meet up at the store. I'll see you when I get home."

Will walked over, pulling her in for a goodbye kiss. She pulled him into a hug instead. "What, no kiss?" he laughed.

She tried to hide the guilty smile, but it was clear as a sunny day. He smiled back, probably taking her smile as a happy one. But her heart was breaking inside. It ached when she pulled him in and felt his kiss. Her heart ached even worse when she thought of Hotch.

* * *

JJ had agreed to meet Hotch down at the local plaza, that wasn't a lie at least. Seasonally, in the plaza, they open a little Halloween store cramped in between a Starbucks and a Payless Shoe Store. They have the workers dress up in demon costumes and have them pop out of unexpected places and scare you. They've scared Garcia numerous times previously, but never JJ. A couple of times JJ's even given them dirty looks that made them avoid her almost every visit.

She pulled into the parking lot, and almost immediately spotted Hotch's car. Of course Hotch wasn't late, it _was_ Hotch. She got out of the car, pulled her sunglasses on the top of her head and searched the plaza. Hotch wasn't in his car. She walked inside the store, instantly getting scratched in the face with itchy streamers and decorations. She already spotted a red demon hiding in the corner excitedly. She felt like hiding somewhere and popping out and scaring the demon instead, to get revenge for everyone else he's scared in the past _and_ for ruining a purple sweater that Garcia had ruined when she spilled a mocha latte on when one of them jumped out in front of her. But that idea vanished when she saw Hotch behind a few aisles, scanning across cheap masks. She made her way over to him, put her hand on her hips and stood by his side.

"The _Scream_ mask, really? I don't think it'd suit you."

Hotch turned, scared almost, then sighed. "I thought you were someone else." he grumbled.

JJ smirked. "Lemme guess, you got attacked by some guy in a costume?"

Hotch didn't flinch, but she took that as a yes. She patted his shoulder reassuringly. "Don't worry, we've all been victims of that attack." she peered over her shoulder secretively. "I say, next person he comes up to and scares, we should get him back."

Hotch broke a smile, still staring at the masks. JJ didn't know if that half-smile meant yes, but at least he looked like he considered it. She eyed the masks for a moment also, but not nearly as intently as he was.

"You have an idea for a costume?" she finally asked.

Hotch shook his head. "No."

She sighed through her closed mouth. "Are you getting an idea?"

"Nope."

"Then why are you looking at these masks the way you are?"

He pulled a _Scream_ mask from the rack and ran his fingers through the hard plastic cover, then broke another smile. This smile looked sad though. "Jack wore this last year. It mortified me. I mean, who would want to dress as a serial killer for Halloween?"

JJ nodded understandably. "Yeah, I know. Will tried dressing Henry in a Michael Myer's costume last Halloween, just to break my balls. I was pretty upset. We settled on a Power Rangers one instead."

Hotch broke into a chuckle, his eyes still on the mask. JJ tilted her head to the side, trying to catch an image of his face. "What?" she asked, crinkling her nose.

"I can't believe you just said 'break my balls.'"

"I can't believe _you_ just said 'break my balls.' And anyway, you know what I meant." she defended.

Hotch brought his face to hers finally, and looked jokingly shocked. "I hope not, because that would mean -"

She rolled her eyes and put her hand on her hips. "Could I really hide a pair in these tight of jeans?" she scoffed.

Hotch scanned his eyes from her eyes, to her waist to her hips. He actually had to look. JJ slapped his arm and laughed. "Thanks a lot, Hotch! I'm not a guy!"

Hotch laughed, then pulled the _Scream_ mask on his face and turned to her. JJ smiled.

"What do you think?" he asked, his voice muffled.

She paused. "Hmmm. Too scary, I think. I think you need something lighter than that."

Hotch pulled it off and scratched the back of his neck. "Good thing, it itches."

* * *

"Will you just try it on?" JJ pleaded, grasping the scarecrow costume and shoving it to his chest.

He shook his head decisively. "Uh uh, I draw the line at that."

"Oh come on, Hotch, you tried on the Dr. Evil costume and _that_ was okay?"

He grinned, putting his hands in his jeans pocket. It wasn't until he did that that JJ even realized he had jeans on. Hotch in jeans? What an unusual picture. Then her eyes scanned the rest of his outfit choice: a plain blue t-shirt with some white text in the back. At least he left his suit home. "Yes. I draw the line at the yellow brick road."

"How come?" she screeched, still clutching the costume lovingly.

"Because! I want to leave this place with as much dignity as I walked in with."

She scoffed. "Sorry buddy, but I think you lost a good percentage of that when you decided to raid Austin Power's closet."

Hotch gave her a puppy dog face. "It wasn't Austin's, it was...Dr. Evil." he couldn't help but laugh at the end of that sentence. Even he could hear how ridiculous that sounded.

"Yes, exactly." she flashed him an eager smile and held the costume out to him one last time. Hotch never knew how stubborn JJ could be. It was kind of irritating. It was kind of sexy. "So, please?" she batted her lashes at him. "I'll try on any costume in here that you pick out if you just try on this one."

Hotch took it in his hands and gave it a once-over. The material was alright, not too uncomfortable. He assumed the straw hat would cause some discomfort, though. Although, it did seem easier to put on then a bald cap.

"Alright," he decided with an exasperated sigh. "But I get to decide if you get to see it on or not."

JJ pondered this idea, not liking it, then gave in. "Fine! Just try it on!"

* * *

_Author's note: First off...I just totally realized something...I'm always for JJ/Hotch even though she's with Will in my stories. I'm so bad. I swear, I don't accept cheating under any circumstances. And if I were JJ, I'd handle things differently. That said, this is my story and I'm handling things the way I want JJ to handle them. ;) Oh yeah, and here's a fun fact for ya: The halloween store in the plaza I mentioned? I actually took that from a place where I live. I went to this halloween store in a plaza about fifteen minutes from my house and a employee in a demon costume jumped out and tried to scare my dad and me. It annoyed me, and he didn't scare my dad at all, but the whole time I avoided him thinking he would. Bastards. :P_


	2. You Shook Me All Night Long

_Author's note: Glad you guys like this story so much. Honestly, I'm pretty surprised. Anyways, thank you so much for the reviews. I really liked the idea of Hotch being in a witch costume, so I want to incorporate that eventually. Thanks Mrs. Dr. Robert Chase for that fantastic idea (and also thanks for the laughs I had when picturing Hotch dressed a witch). ;)_

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You really know you love someone when all you want is for them to be happy, even if that means that you are not a part of it.

* * *

It seemed like they'd been at the costume store for hours, plucking costume after costume off of racks, each one looking too itchy, too uncomfortable, too exposing. It seemed like they'd never decide on one.

Hotch found his way around the store eventually, landing on the Adult Women's costumes section and staying there, eyes scanning each costume longingly, rubbing his chin with his fingers. JJ had found him about six minutes later and stood by his side, folding her arms.

"Are you thinking about dressing as a naughty nurse?" she asked, her tone serious but her words sarcastic.

Hotch didn't break his concentration for a moment. He was still just staring. Then he shook his head. "No. I'm trying to find _you_ a costume."

JJ nodded, then eyed the choices just like he was doing. Everything was either slutty, super-short and too lacy for JJ's taste. She wasn't entirely sure what she wanted to dress as, and to be honest, she damn near forgot about _her_ own costume. She pretty much thought this shopping trip was for Hotch and Hotch only.

Hotch stared for about a moment more until stepping forward and grabbing a costume in a clear plastic bag with a photo of a tall blond on the cover, giving a salute, dressed a sailor. He passed it to JJ, eyebrows raised.

"Oh, no way buddy, I would _never_ wear this." but she took it in her hands anyway, staring at the picture of the girl. The girl actually sort of looked like JJ, but maybe was slightly more curvy. JJ actually wished she had the girl's body. One of the reasons why she didn't want to try it on was because she knew she wouldn't look that good in it.

"I thought you said you'd try on whatever I picked out?" he said.

JJ rolled her eyes. "Yes, I did," she then added, "but that was when I figured you'd have more respect for me and pick out something less...trashy." Okay, maybe trashy was a harsh word. But still. One look at this costume and anyone could tell it wasn't something JJ would usually wear. She thought Hotch would know that.

Hotch paused, then crossed his arms too. He opened his mouth to talk, then shook his head and decided against it.

"What were you going to say?" she pressed, nibbling on her bottom lip.

He shook his head again.

JJ nudged his arm with the back of her hand. She wasn't about to let it go. If he was going to suggest a slutty costume, the least he could do is explain why. "Come on, Hotch, was it?"

"I just thought," he readjusted his feet then looked up at the costumes. He opened his mouth to speak but stopped himself again, his eyes fixed on a certain costume.

JJ tried not to roll her eyes again. "Hotch, come on, your confusing me now." she said, obviously becoming agitated.

Hotch ignored her, then stepped forward again and grabbed another costume. This one was completely different. He stared at it, chuckled, then handed it to her.

JJ looked at the image, at first, surprised and was about to say no. Then she looked at it longer. She decided it was probably the best she was going to get. The text on the photo read SEXY KITTY. She wanted to laugh, mostly because she was actually considering trying it on. Again, the brunette on the picture appeared to have more curves in her hips than JJ did. JJ envied her, too. Not that it should have mattered, but she didn't want Hotch thinking this girl looked better than her. The suit had thin tank top straps, and it was head-to-tie fake-leather, tight to the skin. The girl in the photo had high-heeled black leather boots on, which wasn't included in the costume, but JJ knew Prentiss probably had a similar pair somewhere at her apartment she'd be able to borrow. On the brunette's head, was soft black cat ears. A thumbnail picture at the bottom shown the backside, in which the costume had a long furry tail with a white tip.

JJ shoved the sailor costume into Hotch's chest. "I'll try on the cat one." she said with a sigh. It was actually kind of cute, but she was going to act like it was a big burden to pull it on. Hotch nodded, fighting a grin.

JJ headed off into the dressing room, locking the door behind her. She stared at herself in the long, clear mirror. She hated dressing room lighting. Her skin looked so pale under the harsh lights. She sighed and began undressing, then pulled the costume out of the bag. She stepped into it, the faux-leather hugged her ankles and thighs instantly, and she could only imagine how much tighter it was going to be once it was zipped. She then pulled the straps over her shoulders and tried to zip it all the way by herself, but it wasn't easy. She just couldn't get it all the way up. She wished she had another set of hands. Eventually, after several cuss words muttered and a cramped pair of hands later, she zipped it to the top. She stared at herself, then laughed, putting the cat ears on like a diamond tiara. She turned around and wiggled her tail in the mirror, then giggled into her palm.

She knew Henry would love this, and he'd probably enjoying tugging on her tail and ears. She stared at herself longer, checking each angle, then decided to show Hotch right then or she never would. She didn't look bad in it, either. The suit hugged her body, making her shape appear curvier and sexier than it really was, but she still didn't look like the brunette, in her opinion anyway.

She walked out of the dressing room, leaving the clothes she arrived in a pile on a bench inside the tiny dressing room. "I don't know about it..." she warned, her voice loud and clear, so Hotch would know what to expect.

When she stepped out, her face looked shy and embarrassed, her cheeks flushed. Hotch burst out laughing. Then he instantly threw his hand to his mouth, trying to choke back his chuckling.

JJ looked instantly offended, putting her hands on her hips. "Thanks a lot, Hotch. Wow."

"No, no, I didn't mean it like that," he corrected. "It fits you great, really."

A random girl in the store walked by, costumes hung over her arm, stopped and looked at JJ. "Listen to him. It looks fantastic."

JJ flashed her a thankful smile. "Thanks." she said, then turned to Hotch. Truthfully, his opinion was all that really mattered.

"Do you like it?" Hotch asked.

JJ nodded. "You know what I like best?"

He raised his eyebrows.

"The tail." she spun around and wiggled her tail like she did in the mirror. The tail swung happily like she was an excited cat. Hotch laughed, his eyes lighting up.

JJ really did like the costume. Not short, not too revealing, not _too_ sexy. But the one thing she didn't like was how Hotch was reacting to it. He seemed to like it, but he wasn't saying much. His arms were still folded, his lips were tight and he wasn't smiling. Sure, that was Hotch's normal face, but still. She didn't know what she expected of him, but she wanted him to do _something,_ say _anything._ She walked back into the dressing room, her heart sank a little bit, though she didn't quite get why.

"I know I haven't bought a costume yet, but..." Hotch began talking, waiting outside of the dressing room as JJ got dressed. "I'm kind of hungry. Should we do this another time?"

JJ paused. "How about we just go somewhere to eat then?"

Hotch paused next. "Do you want to?"

JJ stepped out, back in her everyday clothes, the cat costume folded safely in the clear plastic bag it was wrapped in originally. She stood beside him. "Sure, I could eat."

Hotch didn't seem to mind the idea. But again, he didn't seem particularly thrilled with it, either. Not that she needed him to be. But she wanted him to be.

* * *

Hotch and JJ had arrived in separate cars. Hotch walked over to his, his keys about to go into the lock on the door. JJ paused. "You sure you don't want to just drive with me?" she asked, her hair blowing in her face by the wind, soft tousled waves brushing her pink cheeks. She looked adorable with the sunglasses on the top of her head. Hotch couldn't stop thinking that. She just looked so pretty. He jingled the keys in his hands, pondering the idea.

"We have to come back anyway." she reminded him.

He looked confused.

"We have to buy you a costume, remember?" she then walked closer to him and took his keys from his hands. "And this way, we have to come back."

Hotch looked at her, almost still looking confused and a little bit weary.

"Come on, my stereo cranks." she then shoved his set of keys in her back pocket decisively then crossed her arms. Hotch sighed and shuffled his feet over to her car, which was only parked about two rows behind his. He climbed into the passenger seat and buckled up, then she pulled out.

"Where are we heading?" Hotch asked.

JJ pulled her sunglasses over her eyes. "Wherever you'd like to go."

Hotch paused, glanced at her for only about a second, then back at the front window. "Why are you doing all of this with me?" he asked, his voice dropped to a subtle lower tone.

JJ glanced at him, then stopped at an intersection. "Whaddya mean?"

He lifted his shoulders then adjusted his seat belt, like he was uncomfortable. He wasn't uncomfortable physically, he just felt awkward, not sure how to say what he wanted to say. "Your taking me costume shopping, out to lunch..."

JJ made a turn, eyes focused on the road. "We work together. I'd do the same for anyone else on the team." that wasn't quite true. She loved every one of her team members, but the thought of going costume shopping with Morgan seemed like torture. Not torture like stabbing or whipping, but more like plucking your eyebrows. A pain, more accurately. Shopping with Morgan could be hell. He would've made her try on the sluttiest of costumes just for kicks and giggles.

Hotch stayed quiet. Then he peered out of the passenger's window. "You said your stereo cranks."

"It does." she replied. Then she caught on. He wanted it on. Right. She flicked the nob and jazzy music began playing. She thought, _maybe,_ she heard a scoff come out of his mouth.

"That's not from me..." she quickly switched the nob to change the station. "Will sometimes likes to listen to it..." she felt her cheeks turn warmer. She was embarrassed, and she wasn't sure why.

"Wasn't going to ask." Hotch muttered, almost inaudibly.

JJ nodded. "Right. Of course not." she muttered back. Then she flipped the station again, rock music blaring out. AC/DC "You Shook Me All Night Long" began streaming out, the beginning guitar and drum set cranking merrily. JJ glanced at Hotch, who didn't seem to mind it, then turned it up louder.

"I love this song." she yelled over the music.

No response from Hotch. Just quiet stares out of the window. Then she turned it up louder, the first verse words streaming out. JJ mouthed along to the words.

_She was a fast machine, she kept her motor clean, she was the best damn woman I had ever seen..._

JJ found herself singing out loud once the chorus became closer. And then she heard another voice singing along. It was Hotch. She didn't call him out on it or mock him for it, although she wanted to, because he probably would've stopped.

Then the chorus began screaming out. _You shook me all night long, yeah you shook me all night long._ And soon JJ was banging on the steering wheel as a drum set and Hotch and her were yelling as loud as they could, singing along and laughing.

Hotch and her, once stopped at red light, began clapping along to the music, Hotch occasionally banging his hands on his legs to the beat. The song went by too quickly, and once it ended, they continued laughing. Then she turned down the volume to talk.

"I told you it cranks."

"It really, really does." he replied, almost breathless.

They talked about AC/DC all the way to the restaurant they had passed by randomly and decided to try.

* * *

Hotch and JJ never ended up going costume shopping after that. However, they agreed to go back to the store that upcoming weekend. If they didn't have to work, of course. JJ and Hotch went to the restaurant, had lunch and then a small course of dessert, which JJ finished off, who was known for her relatively big appetite despite her small frame. She got home around six o'clock, AC/DC still singing along in her mind. She found herself singing the words when she walked in the door. Will was half-asleep on the couch watching a fishing show with Henry zonked out beside him.

"I'm home." JJ cooed, running over to kiss Henry's soft little cheek.

Will rubbed his eyes. "Your home late," then he spotted her bag. "Find a costume?"

JJ stroked Henry's soft light hair, then nodded. She couldn't stop her smiling around Henry. "Yeah. I'm going to be a cat." she raised her hand and put her hand like claws. "Meow."

Will laughed, stretching out his arms. "I'm so tired. Long day at work yesterday," he then tickled Henry's stomach with his two fingers. "And a long day at the park with Henry today."

JJ felt a ping for missing it. Then it subsided. She'd spent tons of days at the park with Henry. What's one day of missing it? Her eyes clouded over. So many thoughts running around in her mind. Poor Henry at the park without his mommy witnessing him sliding down the red slide he loved so much. He was so proud of himself the first time he went down it without closing his eyes in terror. Poor Will at home without his girlfriend and the mother of his child (although the fact that he was watching fishing made her kind of glad she stayed out). And just Hotch. She wanted him. Damn, she was digging herself a hole. She heard her cell phone ring, buried deep inside her purse.

"Have you eaten yet?" Will asked, brushing lint off of his shirt. "I haven't."

JJ nodded, fishing for her phone. She found it and answered it right before it went to voicemail. "Emily?" she answered.

Will rolled his eyes at the wall. JJ pretended not to see it. She thought Will didn't mean for her to.

"Hey JJ, what are you doing tonight?" Emily was talking loud, like she couldn't hear her over the background music blaring.

"I just got home after shopping," why mention Hotch? "Why? Where are you?"

"Everyone's out for drinks. Morgan and I found this nice little bar and grill close to downtown the other night, and we invited the whole team, before we have to go back to work in the morning. Whaddya say? Bring Will."

JJ paused, then cupped her hand over the phone and looked at Will. "Will, you want to go out and eat with the team?"

Will paused then shrugged. "If the neighbor will babysit Henry."

JJ nodded. "We'll see if the babysitter can watch Henry and I'll call you."

"Alright. Let us know." Emily said, laughing at something someone said beside her.

JJ walked off into their bedroom, closing the door slightly. "Is, uh, is Hotch with you guys?" she whispered.

"What?" Emily yelled.

"Hotch. Is he there with you guys?" she wanted to slap herself for asking.

"Yeah. Rossi managed to convince him. How 'bout that? Poor guy needs a little fun every now and then, ya know?"

JJ nodded, a smirk forming. "I couldn't agree more."

* * *

The babysitter agreed to watch Henry, but basically asked for a slight raise in payment because of the inconvenient short notice. JJ agreed, wanting to go out, and Will tried not to act like he was too cheap to do so. JJ took a bubble bath and got changed before heading out, and while she was thumbing through something to wear, she found her old AC/DC black and gray baseball tee. She threw it on along with a tight pair of jeans. She knew Hotch would appreciate it. Emily texted her the address and after a few wrong turns and a little arguing, they found their way there.

JJ was still slightly annoyed with Will when they pulled in. Why was he taking it out on her that she didn't know the way there?

"I'm just saying, you've lived here long enough." he said, unbuckling his seat belt. JJ let the metal on her belt slam against the door. She rolled her eyes and then stepped out.

"I misread the directions. Not a big deal. We're here, aren't we?"

Will walked over to her side and put his arm around her shoulders. "Yes, we are," he hugged her closer to his chest. "Don't get all pissed off about it, it's not a big deal, like you said." he tried to smile, but JJ was annoyed now. She wanted to push his arm off, but she was chilly and stupidly forgot her jacket.

As soon as they walked in, Emily greeted them, acting slightly tipsy. JJ pulled her in for a hug, instantly in a better mood. She then hugged each one of her team members like they hadn't seen each other in years. Will shook their hands and only hugged Garcia. Will sometimes seemed too unsocial when it came to JJ's team members, and that bugged her. He was supposed to love them like she did.

She stopped at Hotch, who was sitting down at the table awkwardly, and she waved.

"Oh my God, what is with you guys?" Emily stared at JJ's shirt. "Hotch is wearing an AC/DC shirt too."

JJ raised her eyebrows then grinned bright at Hotch. Hotch's cheeks turned pink, then he pulled off his jacket and exposed his AC/DC tour shirt. JJ marveled at it, admired it and then gave him the brightest smile. And she damn near fainted when he gave her a just as big smile back.

* * *

_Author's note: I was listening to that AC/DC song pretty much the whole time while writing this. It just stayed on repeat. Haha. Hope you guys enjoy._


	3. And We Danced

_Author's note: Wow. I'm getting a ton of good reviews regarding this story. I'm so happy! :)_

_

* * *

_

Love must be as much a light, as it is a flame.

* * *

Turns out, Morgan and Prentiss did good. They discovered a funky little bar and grill in the less popular part of downtown and it was fantastic. They served alcohol cheaper there than most bars around town (you could, of course, drive forty-five minutes out of your way to go to a less expensive place, but then you wasted money in gas...and you still have to pay for the drinks.) and the food was good too, considering usually with a bar and grill, it's one of the other. Good drinks or good food, you can't have both. There were beige-colored booths everywhere and there was enough room for the team and Will to enjoy their meals without feeling crunched up to one another. JJ was so distracted by Hotch, though, that she hadn't bothered asking Prentiss why her and Morgan went out the other night by themselves at a place like this. She normally would have teased her, had it of been any other day.

But no, not tonight. Prentiss would have off tonight when it came to JJ's light teasing. Tonight, Hotch was all she could think about. That and how horrible of a girlfriend she was being. When Will laughed at one of Morgan's semi-drunk jokes and put his arm around her shoulder, she tried to smile, but she couldn't help looking up at Hotch, who just kept checking his cell phone. Then she felt jealousy, somewhere in the deepest part of her stomach that traveled to her brain, making her torn between two emotions. Guilt and again, jealousy. Strong jealousy that made her want to cringe. Why did he have to check his phone so much? Why did he have such sudden need for it? Then she reminded herself that he had a son at home, probably missing him. She then thought to herself, _What a good father he is. _And she was able to smile a real smile at that thought. Hotch and Jack, anyone would smile at that picture. They were such a perfect fit. If you didn't like Hotch, you fell in love with him the minute you saw him with Jack. He transforms into a whole new guy. Not that the guy he regularly is is a bad one.

Prentiss dabbed her mouth with a cloth napkin and then slid out of the booth, extending her arms out wide. "I'm gonna go dance over there."

JJ's eyes widened. "There's a place to dance here too? God, what doesn't this place have?"

Reid scraped something undiagnosable off of his plate and flung it, accidentally, in Morgan's direction, who shot him a dirty look and wiped off his sleeve. Reid shot him an apologetic, almost scared glance back, then lowered his head.

"Apparently it allows food fights, too." Morgan muttered sharply. Reid looked half-offended, half-embarrassed. Prentiss slapped Morgan's arm and grabbed his hands. "Dance with me, Morgan!"

Morgan looked like he was about to decline, but stroked his bald head momentarily and then rose to his feet. "Only if Reid and Hotch dance."

Reid's face turned pale. "No way. No way."

"Not together, genius. With any partners of your choice." JJ swore, but maybe she imagined it, that Morgan's eyes flashed on her as if to say, _You know your the one Hotch wants. _But maybe she did imagine it. It wouldn't be that hard to believe, because she hoped Morgan thought that. She hoped Hotch thought that way. Her face turned red from blushing. But just as quickly as Morgan's eyes landed on her, they fell to the tiled floor and he followed Prentiss out into the club-like area of the place.

Hotch didn't say a word. He probably figured everybody assumed he wouldn't do it, so no reason even bothering with convincing him.

Garcia popped out of nowhere, a pickle in one hand, her other hand free. "Come on, smarty-pants, dance with me." Garcia reached for Reid's hands. Reid shook his head.

"I can't dance."

"Follow Morgan's lead." Garcia coached, and somehow, she dragged him out onto the dance floor. JJ would've bet hundred bucks he wouldn't actually dance, just observe.

Will nudged her leg. "Babe, you ready to go?"

She wasn't. She shrugged one shoulder, then glanced at Hotch. Where the hell was Rossi?

Hotch looked over his shoulder, probably thinking the same thing at the same time. Then Hotch looked back, caught JJ's eyes on him, and looked at her. Only for about five seconds, then back to his phone. _Damn phone._

"I'm gonna go use the bathroom, then." Will sighed, sliding out. He hit Hotch's knee, and maybe didn't realize it. But JJ saw it. JJ felt angry at Will for not apologizing. She kept telling herself, he didn't realize he did it. Otherwise she wanted to ring his neck. The fact that Will was being an asshole tonight made her feel slightly less guilty. Only slightly, because normally Will wasn't like this.

Slow music started flowing out of the speakers high on the walls softly, the music soft and mellow, but not incredibly slow where you want to roll your eyes.

Hotch and JJ sat at the booth, quiet. The whole bar was loud with chatter and music but the booth seemed so quiet she swore she could've heard a pin drop.

She looked out and saw Morgan and Garcia slow-dancing, and then Reid and Prentiss slow-dancing. JJ smiled. What a happy picture. Her team were laughing, holding each other. She pictured her and Hotch out there dancing. And what a beautiful song was playing, too.

"I really like this song." she announced. She hadn't even realize she said it out-loud until she heard it, and Hotch looked at her, almost like he'd been woken up from a nap.

He nodded. "It's not bad."

JJ put her elbows on the table. She didn't want it to end. She hoped the song would be extended somehow. She wanted one dance with Hotch. She couldn't explain this craving, but she wanted it so bad. She could just imagine how his arms felt wrapped around her. It probably felt warm and safe. Then a sharp emotional pain soared through her and she wanted to cry. She almost did, if it wasn't for the sight of Will obnoxiously rolling his eyes at something and then sliding in carelessly, almost knocking her out of the other side of the booth.

"What's wrong?" JJ asked.

Will heaved a sigh, then chugged his beer. "Nothing. Bathrooms are disgusting." He tapped her arm. "Ready to go?"

She glanced at Hotch, who gave either her or Will a halfhearted grin, and then at the dance floor at the far end of the room. "I kind of wanted to dance..."

Will fought the urge to roll his eyes. She could tell, but she appreciated him not doing so. "I kind of -"

"Don't want to, I know." _Thank God, with your attitude tonight, I don't want to dance with you._

"How about Hotchner over here? Would he accompany you on the dance floor?" the smirk on his face almost looked cocky. Arrogant, even. Like he knew Hotch wouldn't want to. Or he thought he wouldn't, anyway.

JJ was too embarrassed to look at Hotch's face. But when she looked up, he was looking at the table, scratching the back of his neck.

"I don't think she'd want to dance with me." Hotch mumbled.

"I would." She piped up all too eagerly. She slumped down and pushed her hair behind one ear. "Since Will doesn't want to."

Hotch looked at her face, trying to read her, then took her hand in his and followed her out to the dance floor. Will grabbed her other hand and pulled her into him, laid one simple kiss on her lips and smiled. "Have fun, babe." he almost looked happy to see her go. She almost wanted to ask him why, but didn't.

"Oh my God!" Garcia gasped, making everyone in the whole damn bar look their way. "Hotch and JJ? Oh my God! You guys have got to dance!"

JJ looked down at her shoes. "We were going to until your announced it."

Garcia cupped her mouth in shame and her eyes drew large. "I'm sorry! Please do it, you guys!" She then waved at the DJ, who was hidden behind a large DJ booth and bright flickering lights masquerading him from the whole group of dancers. Nobody really noticed him except for Garcia.

"Play something slow again!" she yelled over to him. He hesitated, thinking the dancers would disagree, but nobody spoke up, so he flicked on another song with a sigh, and soon a slow soft rhythm, much like the last song, became streaming out. Garcia pretended not to stare, and Morgan pulled her back on the dance floor so Hotch and JJ could dance without an audience.

Hotch and JJ uniting as dance partners, at first, was strange. Hotch looked like he didn't know where to put his hands, and JJ too, seemed uncertain. Hotch sighed and put his hands on her back, and she put hers around his neck. Their bodies stayed apart, not even close to touching. Very platonic.

Not how she pictured it, but good enough. "I like your shirt." she had been wanting to say that since they arrived, but hadn't gotten a chance over the loud TVs, music and people at the bar.

Hotch almost looked shy about it. "Yeah, I found it today and just threw it on." he casually shrugged one shoulder. He didn't admit to heading into a store after they'd went shopping, found it, thought of their car ride (and of course, his strong liking for that band) and decided to buy it. Why mention that? "Their a good band."

JJ nodded. "Absolutely."

Hotch smiled, then looked down. And he pulled her in only about a half an inch closer. The music sped up a little bit as it slid into the chorus, and their swaying quickened only slightly. Their bodies meshed together perfectly once they got their rhythm down. Their hips moved at the exact same pace and surprisingly, Hotch wasn't bad on his feet.

She had her head down at the floor for so long, until she looked up and saw him staring at her. He looked away instantly. "I never pictured you as a dancer." she admitted.

Hotch laughed. "That's because I only let people know certain stuff about me."

She squinted, tilted her head, half-teasing. "How do you mean?"

His hands lowered slightly on her back. She felt a shock soar through her, that tingled, in a really good sensation sort of way.

"Like, if I went to work bragging about my taste in bands or the fact that I don't...completely...hate...dancing," he took a pause between those words, as if admitting to not "completely hating dancing" was a form of neutering. "You guys would..."

"We would what? Point and laugh?" she smiled. "I wouldn't of."

His eyes lightened. Maybe it was from the gold light shining on them, but JJ told herself she was causing that. "No?"

"Absolutely not. I think your a great dancer. You'd sweep any girl off of her feet."

"Am I..." he wanted to say something, but shook his head and smiled a half-smile, that looked sad. JJ wanted so bad to hear what he wanted to say.

"What?" she whispered, only realizing a minute and a half too late, that they were incredibly close now. Their bodies were pressed together seamlessly, suddenly warming their body temperatures and making them wished they'd dressed in lighter clothing. But at the same time, not wanting to pull away. Hotch didn't respond. She didn't press it, why ruin the moment? She laid her face in the crook of his neck and closed her eyes. It was about a second before she felt Hotch's face somewhere in her hair. When his breath landed on her ear, she had to bite on her lip to keep from making a noise of some sort. That very thought made her cheeks flush hot. The music stopped. And Hotch pulled away all too quickly.

Everybody clapped, slapping couples on their backs, all friendly and complimenting their dancing. But to JJ it felt like they'd been completely alone that whole time. Prentiss grabbed her arm.

"Want to go freshen up with me?" Prentiss asked.

JJ nodded. She would wash her face with cold water and find Will and go home.

* * *

Will and JJ were exhausted by the time they'd gotten home. JJ changed into pajamas right away and crawled underneath the comforter, wanting to strangle herself with it. She hid deep under her cocoon, in her own world down there, until she felt Will's weight on his side of the bed, and then slowly felt the removal of the comforter off of her head.

"Hiding down there?" he laughed, gently nudging a strand of hair away from her face. He laid down behind her and wrapped his arm around her stomach. JJ felt her throat tighten. She thought she might actually cry.

"Yeah. I have a headache." she barely sputtered out.

He buried his face in her neck. She closed her eyes, a tear streaming down slowly, painfully slow, the hot tear leaving a wet line down her face. "I'm sorry I was kind of offish tonight," he whispered, just loud enough that if he wasn't an inch away from her ear, she wouldn't have heard him make a peep. "I had a hard day."

"Something happen with Henry?" she asked, swallowing. She needed to gather herself together, before Will had enough sense to ask her what's a matter.

She felt him shrug. "No. That was the the good part. I've just been..." he sighed and squeezed her tighter. "I mean, you know, things have been different with us lately."

JJ's throat felt like it tightened even more, like if she wasn't about to inhale a deep breath she might choke herself. She felt a heavy weight of tears clouding over her eyes. She couldn't even explain why she was so incredibly upset, but she wanted to bury her face in her pillow and sob like she was thirteen again.

"You haven't noticed?" he asked.

She nodded only slightly. She prayed he wouldn't keep talking. She was doing her best. She hoped he saw that.

He sighed into her ear and kissed her head. "We'll talk about this another time." he decided.

JJ nodded again, remaining silent. She was afraid if she opened her mouth, it'd all come pouring out. All the things she felt shameful for.

He waited ten minutes before letting go, sighing and turning over on his side. She knew he wasn't asleep, but she pretended to be. She laid there, completely still, forcing herself to breathe softly as if she were resting peacefully, instead of sharp ragged breaths she would be taking if she allowed herself to cry. Once she could tell he was asleep, she let the stream that was dying to pour out fall from her eyes, every now and then inhaling and exhaling wet breaths. Will hadn't woken up from her crying.

* * *

_Author's note: I wanted to make Will less of a, I don't know, inconsiderate jerk? I didn't want you guys to hate Will. I don't hate Will. I kind of didn't want to let JJ off, you know what I mean? I didn't want to make her boyfriend an asshole so I gave her an excuse. I wanted JJ to be falling for Hotch because she just was, not because she was being denied affection or love. I hope that makes sense and I hope you guys like this chapter. :)_


	4. She Used To Be Mine

Anger is natural. Grief is appropriate. Healing is mandatory. Restoration is possible.

* * *

The next day at work, she felt hungover. The rest of the team probably actually were, but JJ's hungover was only imaginary. Her head was throbbing out beats like it were singing out a tune and her eyes felt heavy, and her feet like they were weighed down by a ball and chain. She forced her legs all the way to her office then fell into her chair, a sigh escaping without even realizing it. She closed her eyes and felt her bangs tickle her eyelids. She wanted to fall asleep right there... if only she'd get away with it.

All too soon, a pair of knuckles clapped twice against her office door. Then, without her consent, the door handle twisted and in stepped Rossi, his eyebrows curved concernedly but his face as lit up as usual, his pleasant grin and slightly smaller eye still plain to see.

JJ sat up straighter. Out of all of the team members to visit, Rossi was definitely least expected. "Rossi. Can I help you?" she put her closed hands on her desk professionally.

Rossi sat down, rubbed his hands on his pantlegs and nodded, readjusting his blazer. "Yes," he responded. He laid back casually, clasped his hands together on his stomach and looked at her quizzically. "Are you alright?"

JJ rolled her eyes and flipped a bang back. "Yeah, why do you ask?" she was afraid to ask. "Did Garcia or someone say something about me?"

"No," he swayed his head side to side. "Well, not really. Either way, they've got a point."

"They? Whose they?" she sat up straighter now, confident and all too curious, and partially concerned.

Rossi raised his hand. "Don't get all defensive, JJ, we're only concerned about you." Rossi kicked his feet and then began rocking them back and forth slowly. "The truth is, Reid asked me to come see you. He wanted to but he's, you know...Reid."

JJ nodded. That was understandable. Reid cared so much for everyone, and only wanted to be the friend they needed when they needed a friend, but he rarely came to anyone, in fear that they'd push him away. She felt love for Reid right then, acknowledging what a good friend he was. Maybe she'd forgotten.

"Anyway." He cleared his throat, knowing that the tension slipped underneath the door and left the room. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." she said with a laugh, her blue eyes catching a little sunlight and igniting them brightly like two big lightbulbs in a dark room. "Just tired, is all."

Rossi nodded. "I can see that. That bar last night kicked my ass too."

JJ nodded, her eyes looking downward, lost into a stream of files piling up on her desk. At least she had a lot to focus on, besides her failing relationship and interest in another man. Her supervisor. Rossi stood up, sighed and put his hand on her desk.

"You know, Hotch is a good guy," he said quietly.

JJ looked up and stared at him for a long while, just searching in his eyes for a reason why he'd ever say that. Guess Rossi is full of surprises. "I know that. I've worked with him for almost seven years."

Rossi nodded, lifting his hand off of her desk and sticking it in his jeans pocket. "And you know how he feels about you."

JJ nodded. Though she wasn't too sure what that meant. Of course he loved her, he loved everyone in the team, he'd die for each and every one of them presumably. But what kind of love did he feel for her? Was his love growing for her like it was growing for him? Was the friendly relationship they shared for years transforming into strong passion and desire that was undeniable? Even to those who were oblivious to love, like Rossi or Reid?

Rossi nodded, seemingly said enough and left her office, letting her door click slowly. That click made her jump. She stayed silent for so long she almost forgotten how to speak. Her eyes felt dry from staring off into a distance. Hell, Rossi could've said another six sentences and she wouldn't have even heard him. She was so lost in a daze that she'd almost forgotten reality entirely.

* * *

Will agreed to meet JJ for lunch that afternoon. Although she really wasn't looking forward to it, she'd agreed to meet him at a nice diner closer to the highway than it was downtown. The place was quiet. A nice place to think and mingle with close friends. Perfect place for them to discuss their plans, decisions they inevitably had to make. When they spoke on the phone, they both barely talked. Sure, words were exchanged, a meeting was decided, but they both felt like they were elsewhere. Like they both knew they were traveling down a deadly path, like a patient undergoing intensive surgery being told the anesthetic wasn't going to work and he was going to feel every inch of the pain. The ride there was scary as all hell, knowing what lied ahead.

JJ pulled into the diner, arriving five minutes too late (she was never very good with time) and sure enough, spotted Will's car parked about three rows from hers. That's too bad really, because she planned on ordering first and going over, mentally and quietly, what she was going to say. Now she had no clue. But she walked up to the diner and saw Will, hovering over a steaming cup of black coffee and staring off into a distance, or a big flower pot of fake flowers in the corner more specifically, like she had been earlier. He's looking at something, but not really seeing it at all, rather just seeing only what he's thinking.

"Hey." JJ called out, and Will turned over, smiling. His smile looked sad and she felt her heart rate speed up. She sat in the plastic white chair in front of his and half-smiled, placing her purse on the floor beside her heels.

"I'm glad you got to get out for lunch." he said quietly, stirring his coffee with a tiny little stick. Two creams and three sugars. Will loved his coffee like that. JJ felt indescribably sad for some reason, a pain brewing somewhere deep inside of her, but too far in to reach out and describe it. It was just there.

"Yeah," she flipped open the menu and scanned the list of choices. Once again, looking but not really seeing or caring. "I can't be here as long as I planned on, but I made it nonetheless."

Will finally stopped stirring and put the cup to his lips, making a face as if it burned, then put it down. "JJ, you know we've got to talk." he mumbled out.

JJ nodded, drawing in her bottom lip and grazing it with her top teeth nervously. "I know we do." she agreed. For some reason, she felt exposed, like the people around them were listening in. Like they predicted what was going to happen and they were staring, wide-eyed and interested. She felt the need to whisper.

Will sighed, his eyes dark and drenched with sadness and despair. "I don't know what's been going on with us, but there's no way around it. It's there."

She nodded, her eyes turning dark and cold and unrecognizable. She tried to speak, but she just couldn't. She felt soaked with such heaviness, it was hard to explain. She didn't know what to say. Was she losing Will? No doubt. Was it her fault? That's debatable.

"I don't know what we could do." her rubbed his forehead harsh with his two fingers and then looked at her. "What do you think?"

She raised her shoulders and then shook her head slightly. Like she'd just woken up, her eyes burned and craved to be blinked. She must've been staring at the Willi's Diner closed menu on the table for far too long. She finally blinked repeatedly, then her eyes teared up at the mere relief of finally being blinked. Then she realized the tears weren't from her eyes burning, but rather from the strong desire and want to cry. "I don't know what to say. It's obvious we're not like how we used to be." she croaked. She wanted a sip of his coffee, but didn't know how to ask. It seemed inappropriate to grab it, like he was a stranger, not her boyfriend or the father of her son.

He sighed, pressing his knuckles up against his mouth and nostrils and stared out of the window. He then tore little bits and pieces off of a white napkin that sat lonesomely on the table. "Tons of relationships face hardships, right? They get through it."

She didn't move or make a peep. When she looked up, into his eyes, she saw that he wanted her to speak.

"Right? I mean, we've been together long enough where we're bound to hit rocky parts." he sat up, looking relieved at this realization, then sat back calmly. "Exactly," he decided for himself, then continued, "Things were going _so_ smoothly that it's bound to get it's bad parts every now and then."

He waved his index finger at her, suddenly talkative, continuing on with his assumable accurate theory. "You know, a couple of my buddies used to say we were too good for each other. I think we just had it so good for so long, it's bound to get rocked." he leaned forward, reaching for her hand. He stroked it, his voice lowering into a gentle whisper. "We'll get stronger from this."

She raised her eyes to his. Her body didn't even feel like hers anymore. She stayed perfectly still for so long that her body went entirely numb. When his hand reached hers she almost jumped out of her seat, like she was taken back into her body. When she looked into his eyes, seeing his sad smile and the want in his eyes she saw something in them. Something recognizable. He wants her as bad as she wants Hotch. But she knew he knew he'd already lost her. And when her looked back into her eyes, no words were spoken, his eyes began tearing up and he sunk back in his chair solemnly, in a silent decision. Her eyes said what her mouth could not. What he felt for her was no longer there, in her eyes. And he was afraid he'd lost that feeling, too.

"JJ...what's happened to us?" he barely muttered out. JJ shook her head ceaselessly.

Will stood up, his face grave and completely changed, disfigured, like he was wearing his hurt like a costume mask. JJ couldn't face his eyes and couldn't watch him walk out of the diner, into his car. She waited there by herself for about ten minutes, maybe even fifteen, before heading out herself and driving back to work. But first, once she made it to her car, she laid her head on her steering wheel and finally cried. Soft sobs until she cried herself out, the feeling of losing something and also gaining something weighing heavily and strong on her chest. The feeling of Henry's loss alone was tearing her up inside. But she sucked in a sharp breath, wiped her drenched cheeks raw with a napkin folded in the glovebox and headed back to work, because even when she assumes she's going to lose it and just fall apart, she never really does.

* * *

Her drive back to work, her head was spinning. What did that whole lunch meeting even mean? When she got home, would Will's things be gone? Of course not. Who would be watching Henry? Maybe the sitter he hired to meet JJ at lunch would be there. Would he leave just a note, that would wrap up their years of loving and parenting together and they'd never see each other the same? That had already happened. They already didn't see each other the same. They'd both became parents, but nothing else. They were two parents living together. They were no longer lovers. She knew that, and she could see it in his eyes. Buried underneath the love he held for her was complete loneliness that was beyond repair.

Her phone rang, breaking her concentration. She inhaled sharply and exhaled slowly, repeating this a couple times while digging for her phone, hoping her voice wouldn't sound as tired and worn out as it sounded to her. She answered it, barely glancing at the number, sighing. "Hello?"

"JJ?" Hotch spoke into the phone, his voice in boss mode. "Where are you?"

"I told Morgan to tell you I was meeting Will for lunch. I'm heading back now."

Hotch sighed, whether he was disappointed in her being late or something else. "Alright. Drive safe."

JJ wanted to add something, to tell Hotch what her and Will talked about over lunch, or what they didn't, more accurately, and that things were changing between them, too. She wanted to ask, _is this a good thing?_ But couldn't. Her voice was strained enough. "I'll be careful." she mumbled, her emotion spent.

Hotch paused. She imagined him sitting in his office chair, clutching his black corded phone, his lips folded into a thin line, the lines on his forehead folded cautiously. "JJ, are you okay?" he finally asked.

"Why does everyone keep asking me that?" she sighed, shooting it at him harsher than she wanted to.

"Just because you seem different. When we were dancing, you seemed..."

She longed for his words. What words would he choose? Distracted? No, that wasn't right. Fascinated? Possibly. Infatuated? Oh boy.

"I seemed...?" she pressed.

"I don't know, not yourself. Just different, really." Hotch sighed and she heard a noise in the background. She pictured him stroking his chin, something he did when he was being pensive. "I just want you to know I'm here for you, regardless."

Those words softened the knot in her stomach. She fought the urge to burst out the words she felt she needed to say. "Thank you." she said wholeheartedly. And she'd meant it.

"Your welcome. See you soon." and he hung up.

For the rest of the ride there she thought about Hotch. Hotch and Henry and Jack playing together. They'd make good friends, she decided. But she still felt dirty for thinking it.

* * *

She was stirring coffee in her cup at the BAU "lunchroom" (not really a lunchroom, but the closest thing they have to one. They have tables to eat sandwiches, as long as you brought them, and a coffee pot that was refilled frequently.) and Prentiss approached her. "We've got a case?" she asked.

JJ nodded. "In Seattle. I'm going to brief the team in twenty."

Prentiss nodded. "Is Will okay with you going?"

JJ furrowed her eyebrows. That's an odd question to ask. "Yeah, he always is. It's my job as long as he's known me."

Prentiss tilted her head to the side and made a face. "Yeah, but..." she gave her a look. JJ's heart flipped. She knew too, apparently. "Something's obviously with you and Hotch."

"That obvious, huh?"

"Only to every single person at the bar last night. Will included. If he wasn't too busy ordering a round of drinks to a couple of people he claimed to be his new best friends."

JJ tried to laugh, but her heart was sinking, and she couldn't understand why. "Why is everyone seeing this so-called "thing" between Hotch and me, but not Hotch?"

Prentiss shot her a look that told her to feel otherwise. "Hotch sees it, obviously. He's just being Hotch." Prentiss touched JJ's arm reassuringly. "Just talk it other with Hotch. Or Will, for that matter. Either one." Prentiss paused and looked at her hands, which were closed together and then looked back up, talking slow and softly, in a nonjudgmental but instead trying to assist her tone. "If you ask me, I think you need to figure out exactly what you want."

"Yeah but..."

Prentiss raised her eyebrows.

"What if what I want hurts everybody?"

Prentiss pondered this. "Don't you think in a situation like this," she looked unsure of how to say this. Once she had, JJ understood why she seemed uncertain. "Somebody's bound to get hurt either way?"

JJ nodded, sadder than she'd been before, and followed Prentiss to the briefing room.

* * *

_Author's note: Ahh, hope you guys like it! I'm thrilled by that great feedback I'm getting on this! It inspires me to continue. :) Thank you guys!_


	5. With You, Without You

Life brings us hurdles we may have to jump and memories, some hard to face. You will be delusional at times, but in the end you'll be okay.

* * *

"Okay, that IS IT." Garcia demanded sternly, storming into JJ's office, Prentiss following shortly after. Garcia looked almost pissed off; Prentiss was fighting a smirk.

JJ shot up out of her seat, reluctant at first, clutching her pen. "What?" JJ snapped. "What is it?" JJ didn't mean to sound so incredibly rude, but come on, was it necessary to barge in? Then again, it is Garcia, who has an act for being dramatic. Only when it's necessary though. This? Not necessary.

"I heard about what's going on with you," she turned and pinched Prentiss's arm. Prentiss jumped, squealed and rubbed her throbbing forearm. "FROM PRENTISS. Not from you! Hello? Who's my girl?"

JJ frowned. "What's going on with me?" she asked.

"Uh uh! Don't even play the dumb blonde role; I've heard far too much, from Prentiss," Garcia's tone was stern, but JJ could tell, beneath the sternness and anger and disappointment was the bubbly Garcia waiting to pop out like a Jack in the Box.

JJ pouted her bottom lip over her top in a pitiful look. "I really don't know what your taking about."

Garcia glared at her, then turned and faced Prentiss. "Explain!" Garcia commanded.

Prentiss tried really hard not to laugh. She was failing miserably. Prentiss stepped up like she was about to say a big announcement. "Remember on the jet ride home from Seattle?" Prentiss paused and JJ stayed quiet. Prentiss sighed, slightly annoyed that JJ wasn't catching on. "You confided in me, remember? About Will and you and..." Prentiss paused and wiggled her eyebrows teasingly.

JJ sighed through her sealed lips. "And...?"

Prentiss raised her brows and then rolled her eyes. "You know who." Prentiss said softly, grinning ear-to-ear.

JJ rolled her eyes and slumped into her seat. _Great. _Information in Garcia's hands is lethal, crazy deadly stuff. Who knows about JJ's little crush now? Morgan? Reid? Rossi? God! Hotch even? Strauss, maybe?

Garcia stepped up closer, instantly in defensive mode. "I did not tell anyone," she clarified, as if she could read JJ's thoughts. "I wouldn't do that."

JJ glared sharply at Prentiss. "Unlike Emily." she grumbled. Childish, maybe, but come on Emily!

Prentiss frowned. "I didn't mean to, she pressed." Prentiss defended quietly. JJ rolled her eyes, but automatically forgave her. Prentiss meant well. And Garcia was great at bribing people. She probably paid for a day at the spa for Prentiss or something. JJ could go for that...

"So!" Garcia piped up eagerly, suddenly all friendly, quitting the no-nonsense act rather quickly. "What do you find most appealing about Hotch?" She was treating this like a schoolgirl crush.

JJ sighed. "You have _got_ to be kidding me."

Prentiss widened her eyes curiously and sat back in the chair facing JJ's desk in her office.

"No, really. What do you find most appealing? I'm intrigued. Because, let's face it, he's not exactly the type of guy you go to for a night of rough and tumbling fun..."

Prentiss choked on a laugh fighting it's way out. JJ acted fake-offended, but her cheeks flushed red hot. "It's not like that..." JJ touched her cheek. It felt very lukewarm on her hand, but she felt like it was burning up like crazy. "I don't see him like that, I mean."

Prentiss nodded. "I agree. I mean, I just couldn't picture anyone writing any sexy stories about him in Cosmopolitan."

Garcia chuckled. JJ tried not to. "You guys! Hotch is a great guy." JJ said almost defensively. Why did she have to remind them of this?

"Of course he is, JJ," Prentiss agreed. "But he's also...you know, _Hotch._"

Garcia nodded super-fast. "Exactly. He's _Hotch._"

JJ pondered this. Yes, he is _Hotch._ The guy who always wears suits, who won't go a day without wearing his tie and who barely cracks a smile. But deep inside, JJ's sure there's another side of him, that cranks out to old rock tunes and tells a few dirty jokes. He'd already let that side expose itself little by little in the costume shop.

"He's just different." JJ shook her head decisively.

"Yeah, he is," Prentiss scoffed. "He's -"

JJ flapped her hand at her. "Yeah, yeah I know, he's Hotch." she brushed away a bang carelessly. "But he's also super-sweet and cares so much about all of us."

Prentiss and Garcia exchanged glances then nodded in silent agreement. "Very true." Garcia said pointedly, raising her index finger for clarification. "He's also trustworthy."

Prentiss nodded. "And he's a great father."

JJ nodded and agreed with all points. JJ felt a devilish smirk creep up at the thought. "He's always got a great butt."

Garcia and Prentiss exchanged another look. "I'll toast to that, girlfriend." Garcia agreed with an equally cynical smile.

JJ and Prentiss laughed.

Prentiss tapped her chin thoughtfully. "Hmmm..." her eyes flickered sinfully. "Maybe there _could_ be a few stories written about him..."

Garcia covered her ears with her palms. "Ew! Dirty images over here!" Garcia squealed. Prentiss laughed at her ability to gross her out. It made her proud.

JJ laughed, too. Prentiss caught her eye. "I bet JJ wants some dirty images."

Garcia pointed and laughed, suddenly all gong-ho about the joke. "Ooooh." she cooed.

JJ couldn't stop laughing. She was too embarrassed to stop. She was laughing so hard her stomach curled up and cramped and she had to sit down. "Alright, alright, you guys," she flapped her hand at them. "Cut it out."

Prentiss caught her breath, her cheeks tomato red from laughing. "Alrighty, we'll leave you be." Prentiss rose to her feet.

"Thank God." JJ said jokingly.

Garcia wiped her the corner of her teary eyes and once she finally recovered from laughing, she looked at JJ seriously. "Jage," JJ looked up. "Do you really have a thing for him?"

JJ shrugged like it didn't really matter either way. But of course, it did. JJ squinted her eyes at her. "Why?" she was pretending to focus on the file opened in her hands.

"Because Hotch has been through a lot," Garcia said, very motherly. Her voice was kept low and she waited until Prentiss exited to say this. "And you should really only get involved with him if your sure it's over between you and Will."

JJ didn't know what to say. "Garcia, I'm not sure if Hotch even cares."

Garcia shot her a look that said, _yeah right. _"I'm just sayin'. You know I love you," Garcia smiled a half-smile, that was kind of sad. "And you know I'd love nothing more than becoming another godmother to you and baby Hotchner." Garcia stopped at a halt at the end of that sentence and paused, looking almost put off by that statement, then continued anyhow. "But I just don't want to see him be let down again."

JJ's heart ached for Hotch, because she would die if she was the next one to let Hotch down. She nodded sadly in agreement.

* * *

JJ stepped out of her office hours later. Today was not a good day. A detective from Florida called and complained for thirty minutes straight how the FBI need to be flown in immediately because there's a spree killing going on. After thirty minutes of irrational hollering, another detective took the phone and explained calmly that the previous detective's daughter had been murdered by her boyfriend and he really only wanted the FBI flown in to find the boyfriend because he felt the FDLE weren't good enough. The detective explained that they had the case under control and there was no need for the FBI to become involved. Yeah. Stop him after he threatened JJ, the BAU and the entire government basically for thirty solid minutes; she had nothing better to do with her time.

But now time had ticked away long enough for her to head on home. She'd arrived home from Seattle yesterday, but got home kind of late and only had time to make dinner for Henry, watch some shows with him and then put him to bed. Will came home hours later, after she'd already gone to sleep, and was gone after she woke up. When she'd briefly spoken to him in a phone call earlier in the day, he'd simply explained he had an errand to run for his brother. JJ thought his early exit was intentional. She didn't know which to buy. And did it really matter?

JJ was packing up, ready to head on home when Morgan and Reid stopped her in her tracks. "Hey, where are you going, JJ?" Morgan asked. "We're all thinking about heading out for drinks. You in?"

JJ smiled apologetically at both him and Reid. "Nah, not tonight. I've got to go home to Henry," she smiled at the thought of him. "I really haven't seen him since I left for Seattle."

Morgan nodded understandably. Then he smirked devilishly and nudged her arm playfully. "But...Hotch is going."

Reid was even fighting a smirk. Reid! She shot Reid a look and instantly he straightened up, face hard and stern and not remotely joking.

Morgan glanced at Reid, noticing his change in attitude. "Oh come on, JJ, we're just teasing you." Morgan explained kindly. Yes, to them it was light and playful teasing; But did they not get the seriousness of this? She bit her bottom lip and fought her rage.

"Who told you?" she barely sputtered out.

Morgan became serious. "Who told me...?"

"About me and Hotch." JJ instantly regretted those words. "Or, you know, whatever! Not me and Hotch, because there is no 'me and Hotch', just you know, everything. Who told you?"

Morgan and Reid exchanged looks like she's lost it, then Morgan shook his head. "No one."

"Yeah, right. Garcia?" JJ pressed.

Morgan shook his head again. "No one said anything, really."

She sighed and faced Reid head-on. "Spence?" she batted her lashes at him innocently. Reid nervously gave in. He could never lie when she batted her eyelashes.

"Hotch was telling us..." he felt Morgan's death glare and shut up. "Nothing."

JJ raised her eyebrows, suddenly all interested. "Hotch told you guys _nothing_? Yeah right. What'd he say?"

"Nothing." Morgan elbowed Reid's side. Reid squealed all girly-like and rubbed his hip.

"Ow." Reid said sadly, pouting. "I'm not a punching bag."

Morgan rolled his eyes. "Your nothing but a bag of bones."

Reid nodded. "Exactly. So don't punch me."

"If I don't hear any cracking -"

"You guys!" JJ screeched. "Can we get back on track here? Back to Hotch telling you guys _nothing_. Nothing about what?"

Morgan and Reid both stared at her awkwardly. "Nothing about what? Does that even make sense?" Morgan asked.

JJ was about ready to punch both of them. Morgan's cracking theory could apply to her too. "Stop teasing me!" she nearly cried.

"Alright, alright," Morgan raised his hand. "I didn't know this meant so much to you."

JJ's face softened. "Well, it does. So please?" She tried the batting of lashes at Morgan this time. Like Reid, Morgan sighed, giving in. _Thank God I have my mother's naturally long eyelashes, or else, where would I be?_

"Hotch was basically telling us that he's been seeing a lot of you lately," Morgan explained slowly. He was saying it so nonchalantly, like he hadn't just spent five minutes trying not to say it. "And how he likes that he's getting to know you better."

JJ thought about this. That's good, right? She nodded after it was all processed in her head thoroughly. "Okay, okay, what else?"

Reid sighed and jumped in. "And that he was kind of, sort of, but _not really_ asking if you and Will were still together." Reid raised his hand and his voice raised. "But! Like I said, he wasn't really asking -"

"Just sort of hinting." Morgan added.

Reid nodded. "Yeah. Hinting. That's it."

JJ stared at them both. "And...nothing else?"

Morgan and Reid paused, glanced at each other then both shook their heads at the same time. "Nope. That's 'bout it." Morgan decided.

JJ paused and stood there a little while longer. Should she make the trip up the stairs and say goodbye to Hotch? Was that a good idea? She decided not to. Partly because she wouldn't know what to say, but mostly because Reid and Morgan's teasing would hit a whole new level that would be dreadful.

* * *

JJ stroked Henry's soft little head of hair as he grabbed an excessively large spoonful of his food. He shoved it in his mouth forcefully. JJ tried not to laugh at the cute eating habits of a two-year-old. She just hoped he'd grow out of it by twenty. That might not be so cute then.

Will walked in from outside. JJ wasn't sure exactly what he'd been doing out there. Spraying something with a hose, she thinks.

"Hungry?" JJ asked him, opening the fridge. "I'm almost done with dinner."

Will kind of shook his head, and walked straight to Henry. He smiled big and wide for him then kissed the top of his head. JJ smiled at it too. Will was by far most lovable when he was with Henry.

"Whatcha doing, little man?" Will asked him. Henry smiled just as wide. "Eating, huh?"

Henry nodded, taking another spoonful of food.

JJ filled two plates of dinner anyway and handed Will his. Will frowned at it. "It's okay, I'm not hungry." he insisted.

JJ frowned too. "You ate? When?"

"Before you came home. I made myself something to eat." He caught JJ's disappointment, and he put it on the counter. "But I can wrap it up for tomorrow."

JJ nodded and was deciding that she, too, wasn't very hungry.

Will smiled at Henry, but it faded once he started focusing on her. "So how was work?"

She shrugged. "Same ol', same ol'. How was your day with our little guy?" she flashed Henry a smile. Henry looked proud to be spoken of.

"Eventful, as always," Will was definitely a proud daddy. It shows when he talks about him. "He successfully trashed our bedroom."

JJ looked interested to hear the story, feeling left out of a good memory.

"It was his idea of 'picking up'."

JJ laughed. "Oh, boy."

Will laughed. "Your underwear drawer is now my sock drawer."

She put her plate down, laughing at the thought of Henry tossing her underwear around like confetti and headed to organize her drawers. Why not? She wasn't hungry anyway.

Will trailed behind her rather forcefully. He almost looked nervous.

JJ opened the top drawer on the right side (Will's sock and underwear drawer) and noticed it was completely blank. Not a single trace of anything. Maybe a lintball. She looked at him, her face almost expressionless.

Will looked very saddened. "I was going to tell you, I swear."

JJ felt angry about this. She was mostly angry with the fact that it bothered her. It shouldn't. "Were you just gonna wait until I was asleep and then leave like a thief in the night?"

Will looked offended by the accusation. "No way, I'd never do that to Henry," he explained. She swore he said just Henry to spite her. "I wanted to tell you after we put Henry to bed."

"So your leaving?" _Duh, JJ. He's not surprising you with a new dresser drawer._

Will stepped closer and sat her down on the bed. "Don't you think it's a good idea?"

JJ didn't know what to say. Yes and no. "What about Henry? This is gonna break him apart."

Will nodded, looking most hurt by this in particular. And the truth is, JJ felt the same. This must be how divorce feels. "I'll see him plenty."

"And what about me with my job? What am I supposed to do?"

Will raised his eyebrows suggestively. JJ knew what he was thinking.

"I can't just quit the BAU, _Will._" she said his name so coldly.

Will rolled his eyes. "Why not? Doesn't your son matter more?"

JJ's mouth gaped open. "Of course he means more to me! But I made a commitment to my team."

"And you made a commitment to your son the day you got pregnant."

Good point. Score one for Will. Damn. "And I would gladly die for Henry and he'll always come first, but why can't I have both?"

Will stood up. "Then he should live with me." he decided.

"No way! He's my son!"

"Uh, here's a thought for ya, JJ," Will shouted. "He's my son too _and _I've been raising him more than you have!"

JJ raised her hand, and without thinking, slapped him hard across the face. Will barely flinched. He just stood there, unmoved.

She wanted to do it again, but instead she started crying. "I can't lose him." she whimpered.

Will sighed through his closed mouth and pulled her in, hugging her. She cried in his chest. "I know. I'm sorry." he laid his chin on the top of her head. "I just don't know what else to say. You can't have both, JJ, not if you want to be a big part of Henry's life. I mean, your gone _a lot._"

"Saving people." she clarified through tears.

"I know, and what you do is really selfless," Will said softly. "But what comes first? Your job or being a mother?"

She wanted to cry that she deserved both. That she loved both. But she obviously, undoubtedly, loved Henry more.

She wiped her nose and pulled away from him. He still held her close to his chest. "So your leaving? Right now?" she said sadly.

Will paused then nodded. "I should say goodbye to Henry first," he looked at her sad and make-up smeared face and half-smiled. "We'll figure it all out. My brother's letting me crash at his place until things get situated." He leaned in and kissed her forehead almost lovingly. "I'll call you tomorrow."

JJ nodded, wiped her tears and sat in the bedroom, not wanting to hear Will break Henry's little heart.

* * *

Henry spent fifteen minutes crying. JJ spent twenty-five crying with him. She held him close, cradled him and promised everything would be sorted out in due time. She even made breaking up a family sound like fun. She promised double the presents, double the birthday celebrations, double the toys. By bedtime, Henry was excited about this arrangement. It broke her heart that eventually he'd figure it out that it's not all that fun. But at least it stopped the sadness for the night.

She headed into the living room, just listening to the quietness of the house. No guy watching horror movies or fishing channel or anything like that. No one up nosing around. No one sleeping in the bed with her. It was really very lonely.

She grabbed her phone and called Garcia. She brought her knees to her chest and tried not to sob when she thought about poor broken-hearted Henry. She tried to block Will out entirely.

Garcia answered, sounding gleeful. "Yes, BFF?"

JJ sniffled though she had stopped crying a little while back. "Will left."

Garcia gasped. "Really?" she paused. "Ah, baby, should I come over?"

"No. Henry just fell asleep. I just thought I should tell someone." JJ kind of laughed. Not in a ha-ha sort of way, but in a this-is-so-crazy sort of way. "I really just wanted to say it out-loud, if that makes sense."

"It totally does." Garcia sighed. "How're you feeling?"

"I'm not really sure. It just feels really strange to me, you know? I've forgotten he's gone like six times already, and he only left like two hours ago."

"Oh no." Garcia sounded super-sympathetic. "What are you thinking about the whole situation?"

"I don't really know. I guess I'm partly relieved, actually, because obviously things we're going downhill for us. We were really only together for Henry."

Garcia nodded. "I see."

"In fact, I think that's what made it so hard. Is because of Henry."

"And that's not really a relationship, Jage, that's just..."

"Two people living together, raising a child?"

"Exactly." Garcia sighed again, obviously majorly pitying her. "Have you...oh, I don't know what I'm saying."

"Have I...?"

"You know, talked to," Garcia lowered her voice like it was the, _Say his name and he shall appear_ theory. "You-know-who?"

JJ sighed and closed her eyes. "I assume your not talking about God?"

"Righto." Garcia giggled.

"No. I wasn't going to call him the second Will left and tell him to come over for a quickie, Garcia." JJ retorted.

"Duh!" Garcia giggled. "Though that sounds kind of sexy..."

"You've lost it. Goodbye!" JJ said jokingly.

"No, no, wait! Seriously, Jage, why don't you just give him a call?"

"And say what?" JJ asked honestly. No really. What would she say? _Hey Hotch, I know it's kind of late. Just calling to let you know I'm newly single. Call me if your ever available._

"Let him know your available," Garcia said as if it's clear as day.

"That's stalkerish."

"No, that's good news."

JJ paused. "I'm not calling him."

"Fine. Be that way. I love you, but your going to live alone forever with sixty-seven cats until your one hundred and nine then croak."

JJ was about to fight that, but felt too tired to. "Alright. Bye Garcia."

"Bye my love. Feel better." Garcia said sympathetically before clicking off.

* * *

JJ sat in silence, flipping through channels until deciding between _Grey's Anatomy_ or _Say Yes to the Dress_. She decided not to watch _Say Yes to the Dress,_ because one) that's a guilty pleasure she'll never admit to, and two) why watch something all happy when she never ended up getting married anyway? Her phone started ringing. She reached to grab it automatically because she didn't want to wake Henry, but then got a wave of panic, wondering if she should pick it up. She figured Garcia probably called Prentiss, and Prentiss was calling to sympathize with her. She was gonna let the machine get it, until she looked at the caller ID. Hotch. _I'm going to **kill **Garcia!_

"Hotch?" she spoke into the phone, sounding very very surprised and almost suspicious.

"Yeah. It's late, I know..." Hotch sighed. "Garcia told me...I thought you might need someone to talk it over with. Considering my own past experience..."

JJ sighed. "I'm sorry, I never told her to do that."she declared.

"I know. She said it was her idea and hers only." Hotch clarified.

"Good. Because I wouldn't want to bother you like that. I know you couldn't care less."

"It's not that," Hotch defended quickly. "I'm just worried about you. Are you, I mean, is it," he didn't know how to ask this. "Are you okay?"

"I am, actually. It was for the best."

"That's good," Hotch sounded relieved. JJ bet he was. Hotch isn't very good with comforting. But he had good intentions. "How's Henry taking it?"

"Not so good at first, but I used my mother abilities to make breaking up sound like Candyland or something."

Hotch laughed. "That's good. I did the same with Jack."

"How long until it wears off?"

Hotch paused. "Uhhh, about, three weeks? Don't be surprised if tantrums start."

JJ threw her head back. "Oh, great."

"Parenting. Fun, isn't it?" Hotch sarcastically said.

"So much." she sarcastically shot back. Then laughed. "No, it's great. I love being a mom."

"I love being a dad. If only they could never hate you and could never get hurt."

"Yeah, if only." she swallowed. "Same with relationships."

Hotch paused. He sounded sad. "Yeah, but, maybe sometimes relationships breaking up is for the best, like you said. It gives you a chance to find an even stronger love with someone else."

JJ paused, taken aback big-time. "Yeah, I guess. I never thought of it that way."

"Something to consider."

JJ bit her bottom lip. "Do you, uh,"

"Do I...?"

"Do you want to come over?"

* * *

_Author's note: So glad you guys love this story!_


	6. You Have That Effect On Me

If you love somebody, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were.

* * *

The silence lingered a drastically long time. JJ wondered what was going through his mind as he took this abnormally long pause.

"Or...not." JJ sighed.

"It's not that," Hotch said quickly. "It's just that..." she heard a sigh escape his mouth, then he continued, "Is that a good idea? I mean what about Henry? And Jack..."

She tried to tell herself that it didn't matter if he didn't come over. Why did she need him anyway? Matter of fact, it was quite late. The wisest decision would be to tell him she'd see him tomorrow at work, to have a pleasant night's sleep and then crawl into bed and try her hardest to get some rest herself. But she couldn't fight this strong yearning desire to see him. Now that she was newly single, she had nothing to feel ashamed about. She had nothing to hide from him. Except, of course, what she truly thinks of him. But that could wait, obviously.

_Just say okay. Just say it's fine. Just tell him to go to bed._ She rehearsed the lines over in her mind as she took an equally dragged-out pause. "Well, Jack could come over too..." she blurted out instead. She sighed shamefully directly afterward. She had lost complete control over her thoughts, and now, the words that slip off of her tongue. Men really suck sometimes.

Hotch paused, probably rationally considering it like Hotch does with _everything._ "Would that be okay?" he asked, sounding uncertain.

"Absolutely!" she exclaimed too eagerly. She lowered her voice before she woke up Henry. "I mean, I think he'll have fun. I have cable TV," she laughed slightly. Who doesn't have cable TV nowadays? "Obviously. And tons of toys. You know, guy toys." _Duh, JJ. Why would Henry be playing with Barbie dolls or Strawberry Shortcake?_

Hotch kind of laughed. She figured it was at her stupidity. "I guess he'd like that..."

"I think so." she nodded, becoming very excited about the idea of him visiting. "So, what do you say?"

He paused again. She swore he was almost teasing her. It was incredibly frustrating, and almost made her want him much more. "I'll get him dressed and we'll be over soon." he decided.

"Okay," she said simply, flipping her hair over her shoulder to double the effect of how casual she was pretending to be. "See you soon."

* * *

Once she hung up, and double-checked that the phone was actually _really_ hung up, she darted into the bare bedroom, that was now stripped of men's clothing, and swung open her closet doors. She thought it over for an exceedingly long time. She could stay in her current clothes, which was her loungewear (blue tank top, gray sweat shorts) or get a little bit dressier. She hated herself for wanting him so badly. Everytime she thought about him sitting across from her on the living room sofa, she felt raging thrills. Then she felt insanely guilty, even though Will is out of the picture. _How could you, JJ? Your boyfriend JUST left. You naughty, disgusting girl._ She scolded herself repeatedly in her mind as she undressed and tried on several different outfit choices. Each time, finding something wrong, whether it was too sexy, or too casual, or too unflattering. Nothing fit just right. She finally decided on a silk dress shirt and tight black jeans. The shirt was slightly low-cut, but not _look-at-me, I've got breasts._

She barely had make-up on, but she did put on some mascara and lipstick. That's all she needed. She was going for the whole, "I know I look really nice but I didn't put much effort into my outfit at all." kind of look. With careless hair and simple make-up, she thought she looked calm enough to mask her excitement and/or guilty conscious.

She sat on the sofa and played drums on her knees to a song that was stuck in her head until she checked the clock. It's been fifteen minutes. Of course Hotch would show up. He's not the stand-up type of guy. Too responsible for that. But he had the right to change his mind. And since this isn't an actual date or anything close to that, he could simply decide not to come over and apologize tomorrow at work. No big deal.

She reached for the phone the second it rang.

"Hello?" she answered quickly, before checking the caller ID.

"Babes?" Garcia said, very merrily. "You doing alright?"

JJ sighed and rolled her eyes. "I thought you were someone else." she sighed, slumping down on the sofa and burying the side of her face on a throw pillow.

"Oh, yeah? Expecting a call?" she practically cooed teasingly. "From who?" her tone said she already knew.

"Garcia," JJ said flatly, like she was in no mood for her jokes. "I know you called Hotch. He called me."

Garcia piped up. JJ could just picture her jumping out of her seat and patting herself on the back for putting this arrangement together. "He did? What'd he say?"

"Garciaaaaa," JJ stretched out dramatically. "You shouldn't have called him."

She could hear the extreme pouting in her tone. "I know, but, but..." Garcia sounded apologetic. JJ's heart softened. "I couldn't help myself. I only wanted you to feel better."

"I get that," JJ said softly. "But you shouldn't meddle."

"I'm sorry." Garcia paused, then her tone lightened. "But your happy I did, aren't you?"

JJ paused, not too keen on admitting defeat just yet. "No...I didn't say that."

"Come on! What's going on?"

"...Hotch is coming over."

Garcia gasped so loud JJ was afraid she might be choking on something. "God, are you okay?" JJ screeched.

"NO! I think I'm having a heart attack."

JJ rolled her eyes. "I have to go now."

"Why? Is your boyfriend there? Oh my God! Hotch is your boyfriend!"

"No. I have to find the phonebook so I can call the nearest mental institution and have a certain fiery redhead committed."

Garcia sounded thrilled rather than offended. "Aw, you think I'm fiery?"

"Too fiery for your own good."

Garcia nibbled on something. "Oooh, that's sexy, right?"

JJ heard someone knock on the door, and that very sound made her insides jump and twirl. "Oops! He's here. I've really gotta go."

"Call me as soon as he leaves!" Garcia yelled excitedly before JJ clicked off without saying goodbye. It occurred to her, as she walked to the door, - her insides still jumping and twirling and that whole shabang - that she felt like she was in high school again.

* * *

JJ opened the door. Hotch was still in his suit from work. _He didn't change. Hmmm. What does that say about how he feels? Remember to ask Garcia after he leaves._

JJ instantly saw tiny Jack in front of Hotch's legs, smiling bright and wide. JJ smiled at him and crouched to his height.

"Hey there," she said sweetly, touching his arm. "Are you hungry? I have some macaroni and cheese saved from earlier."

Jack's eyes beamed. "Yeah!" he yelled before running inside. Hotch still was standing outside.

JJ tilted her head to the side inquisitively. "You know? When I invited you guys, I thought you'd _both_ be coming inside."

Hotch laughed slightly and stepped inside awkwardly, like he wasn't just invited in, but rather was an intruder. JJ touched his arm without even thinking about it, and she was surprised how naturally she did it. Once she realized she was touching him, she didn't let go. She flashed him her brightest smile.

"Take your jacket off," she said, her eyes fixed on his. It was like a secret staring contest, except this time it was whether who would look away first. "I'll get the food." She stared at him for a couple seconds longer, her hand still on his arm. He didn't move. She waited, then turned slowly and walked to the kitchen. She touched Jack's head and tousled his hair playfully, opening the cupboard. "So, Jack, how are you tonight?" she asked.

Hotch finally walked in, standing at the kitchen entrance, leaning against the wall.

"Good." Jack said happily, popping open a soda can. "I love mac and cheese." he declared.

JJ turned to him, slopping the cold meal on a plate, then popping it in the microwave. "Who doesn't?" JJ smiled at him. She looked up and caught Hotch smiling at the two of them. Her stomach flipped and twirled again.

* * *

They all ate the macaroni and cheese (even Hotch!) and listened to stories from Jack's school and his softball league. After dinner, Jack ran into the living room, hopping onto the couch and flipping through the children's On Demand options, deciding on Spongebob until he started dozing off. Hotch smiled at him and stroked his hair for a couple seconds before following JJ back into the kitchen.

"Thanks for the," Hotch looked up at the clock ticking away on the wall. "Late-night snack?" he laughed.

JJ smiled, putting the dirty dishes in the sink. They could wait until tomorrow. She pulled a chair away from the table and sat down. Hotch caught the hint and joined her. Thank God. She would've hated it if she had to draw a map and arrows to get him to sit down with her.

"Your very welcome." she said honestly. "I had fun."

Hotch nodded, looking very sincere. "I think Jack did, too." JJ could see that Hotch, too, was happy. As long as Jack was, he was.

_What about you?_ she wanted to ask. She fidgeted around uncomfortably to push past the strong urge to ask. "What about you?" she blurted out. She wanted to slap her palm on her forehead. But being the independent woman she is, she regained courage. "Did you have fun?" she asked, clearer this time. She then stared directly into his eyes. Hotch surprisingly stared back, hard and for a long time.

Hotch nodded, but he was giving her a look she couldn't understand. "Yeah, I did." he said casually, like this didn't mean anything. She tried very hard to hide her disappointment. Unfortunately, with JJ, she wore her emotions like a big bright mask that basically had the words written on her face. She had to get up and mess with stuff on the counter so he wouldn't see the disappointment covering her face.

She played with the dishes in the sink, rubbing them clean forcefully.

"Why'd you invite me?" Hotch asked boldly. The plate slipped from her hot wet hands. He threw her by surprise. She picked it back up and scrubbed harder.

"Why did I invite you?" she asked out-loud. She heard him get up from his chair, but when she tried to peek, he was still standing over the table tentatively.

"Yes." he clarified, once she'd taken too long to respond.

She shrugged. "I don't know," she racked her brain to think of a decent excuse that wouldn't scare him away. "I wanted to see you?" she rolled her eyes at herself blurting - again.

Hotch paused. She heard his boots walk closer, but he stopped after approximately two steps. "Why?"

"What do you mean, 'why'?" she asked, almost defensively. She felt chills creep up her everywhere, but this time they weren't friendly chills. They were, oh-my-God-your-making-a-fool-of-yourself-you-dumb-blonde chills. They were mocking her. She wanted them to go away - right now.

"I don't know," his voice sounded sad. "I don't usually get invited places. I'm not exactly the type of guy you'd go to for a night of rough and tumbling fun."

JJ paused, the plate slipping from her grip again. Where did she hear that? Then, like a flipbook playing out in her memory, she distinctively recalled Garcia saying those very words. She felt embarrassed, then relieved once she remembered that she didn't say anything negative about him. Or she didn't remember saying anything, anyway. She whipped around suspiciously.

"How'd you hear that?" she asked.

Hotch's face softened. "I wasn't spying on you, don't worry," he was almost grinning. Almost. It calmed her down a bit. At least he wasn't angry. "I overheard it when I was walking by."

"And you actually sat by the door and listened?"

He looked down, ashamed. "I didn't want to..." his voice sounded distant and far away. "I just, I don't know, I wanted to hear what you were saying about me." He looked up and shook his head, his eyes clouded over. "I was being immature, and I'm sorry."

JJ waved her hand at him. "Don't apologize, I don't care," her smile made the chills he was feeling calm, too. What wonders they could do for each other. They had the ability to completely excite and horrify each other. "I would've done the same."

Hotch looked down to hide his grin.

JJ stood, her back pressed against the sink. She didn't really understand what this meant.

Hotch scratched above his eyebrow with his thumbnail. "Well, I should go wake Jack," he looked back at him, sleeping in the living room. "He's probably missing his bed."

JJ shrugged. "Looks comfy to me."

Hotch smiled back at him, then turned back to her. She felt (good) chills everytime he looked at her that certain way. Almost in admiration. She felt exposed and embarrassed where she had to look away, but also extremely excited and happy and even sexy.

"You look nice." he commented.

JJ's eyes lit up. "Oh, thanks."

"You went out someplace?"

She nodded. "Yeah, I didn't bother changing." she lied.

Hotch nodded, looking down at his shoes.

"Okay, that's not true." Here she goes with the blurting again. But this time, she wanted to be honest about this. Unless it frightens him. "I got dressed for you."

Hotch looked up, taking in this information at a dramatically long pace. His eyes just stayed on her outfit, like he couldn't decide if it were a positive or negative thing.

JJ felt humiliated. "I mean, I didn't take a long time or anything, I just kind of threw it on." she defended.

Hotch shook his head. "I didn't say anything."

"Your thinking something."

He furrowed his eyebrows innocently, partly confused and curious. "How can you tell?"

She scoffed. "I can tell, Hotch."

He paused and shook his head again. "I wasn't thinking anything negative."

"Then why aren't you saying it?"

His eyes clouded over again and he looked her daringly into her eyes. "Because I can't."

She fidgeted, trying very hard not to attack him and push him up against the wall and feel him pressed against her. _Jack's here. Jack's here. Just in the other room. Calm yourself, Jennifer._

"Why not?" she understood why not. Because it was too soon. Because he didn't want a relationship with a girl with baggage. Because he felt like a rebound, though he wasn't. Because he didn't feel that way about her. She understood millions of reasons why he couldn't say what he was thinking. She imagined him saying, "JJ, your trying too hard. What did you think I came over here for tonight? Don't be so pathetic."

Hotch looked up, almost looking guilty. "Because I shouldn't be thinking it."

Her heart beat faster in her chest. Part excitement, adrenaline and the smell of his cologne igniting her veins and fueling her up. She sucked in a breath. It was becoming very hard to have this much distance from him. "Why not?" _Because I shouldn't be thinking so negatively about a person I work with, JJ. I shouldn't be finding you so incredibly desperate. _Her heart ached for him to speak.

"Because you just got out of a relationship." he sighed. "Tonight."

JJ squinted her eyes at him curiously, her heart rate slowing down and catching normal speed. She thought, maybe, she understood what he meant, finally. "What exactly _are_ you thinking about?"

Hotch looked at her shamefully, and bit his bottom lip. He shook his head. "I told you, I can't say."

She grinned at him. "I think I can tell what your thinking."

"How?"

JJ took a long, teasing pause. She could tell it was hard for him to keep his hands off of her too. She loved it.

Hotch instantly looked horrified, then looked down, then became relieved when he realized nothing was visible. JJ tried not to laugh. She walked up to him, fast and confident, and she could almost feel Hotch's body tensing excitedly. She tried not to let the butterflies make her knees go out. She walked incredibly close, leaned against him, reached above him and grabbed his jacket, then stepped back and handed it to him. Hotch looked pale and incredibly distracted. JJ smiled at him innocently, but at the same time, devilishly.

"Have a good night, Hotch." she said sweetly. Then she turned around like she hadn't just totally rocked his world. Hotch stood there, frozen and probably too heated up for his own good. It took him about a minute before he turned on his heels, scooped up Jack and left.

"Bye, JJ." He said softly before leaving.

Once she heard the door click, she sat at the table and held her face in her hands. Now she was too revved up to sleep. Great. She was never getting to work on time now. She was sitting in complete silence, her head spinning like her stomach was earlier. But she was brought back to reality when she heard the front door open again. She jumped to her feet, and before she could react, Hotch was walking over to her, suddenly enveloped with strength and courage and outrageous confidence. He pulled her into him in one fast motion and kissed her. It was so shocking and mindbogglingly amazing she actually felt physically dizzy. She actually literally felt like her feet were lifted from the floor. It was all she had dreamed about. (Yes, one night she actually had a dream about it. She never told anyone, purely out of guilt and remorse.) It was warm, passionate, strong and she could feel just how much Hotch wanted it too. It was like both of their emotions and feelings that has accumulated overtime about each other was wrapping around the both of them, strongly embracing them powerfully and sucking both of them in. Neither one of them wanted to pull away, but Hotch was the first to do so.

"Jack's still in the car. I've really gotta go." He said, still holding her in his arms.

JJ nodded. "Okay." she couldn't really speak. Her mind was still spinning. "Drive safe."

Hotch nodded, and when the warm, safe feeling of his hands on her left her it was like a ghost leaving a lasting presence. She could feel the sadness and loneliness of him leaving. But once he was gone and was heading on home, she felt a ton of emotions piling onto one another. The strongest one was just pure happiness. She crawled into bed, feeling safe and warm and content. She fell asleep right away. And if it were possible, she felt like she fell asleep with a smile on her face.

* * *

_Author's note: Hmmm...was about to leave you guys grasping for a kiss for a LITTLE bit longer, but I just kept picturing this over and over and felt like it wouldn't feel as random if it happened in the beginning of the next chapter.  
_


	7. Whatever This Is

Soul meets soul on lover's lips.

* * *

"I am officially in love with this place." Prentiss marveled, taking a strong sip of her concoction that the bartender threw together carelessly. Pineapple juice, slices of lime, big thick square ice chunks and the drink somehow turned a bright blue color. She seemed pretty satisfied with it.

Morgan jabbed his fork into a piece of lettuce and eyeballed it suspiciously, like vegetables were suddenly bad for you. "I don't know...the Surprise Chef's Choice order is kind of bland. I mean, what Chef suggests a salad? Aren't they supposed to suggest the most expensive thing on the menu?"

JJ rolled her eyes at him, using her thin straw to stir her oddly colored drink, staying very very quiet. Prentiss tapped her hand.

"Hey, you alright? Your kind of out of it." Prentiss said.

JJ shrugged. "Just thinking."

Morgan raised his eyebrows. "About what?"

She shrugged again. "Just things. Nothing in particular. Just anything in general."

Morgan and Prentiss exchanged a worried glance. "Is that... good?" Prentiss asked, slightly confused.

JJ half-smiled. "Maybe."

Morgan threw down his fork and laid back casually, sighing like he'd just stuffed himself, although he'd barely taken two bites. "Alright. I'm sorry I followed you guys to lunch." he said.

Prentiss rolled her eyes and laughed, plucking an almond from his salad and popping it into her mouth. "I think it's delicious." she said, chewing happily.

Morgan pushed his plate to hers until they clinked together noisily. "Then take it."

Prentiss smiled proudly. "Don't mind if I do."

JJ laughed. "You guys." she said, shaking her head.

Prentiss wiped her mouth with the super-soft napkins they give you, and tried swallowing super-fast so she could speak urgently. "I just remembered! Garcia and I set a date for our Halloween party this morning!"

Morgan sat up, putting his elbows on the table. "Oh yeah, when?"

She dabbed her mouth ladylike then took a sip of her drink before announcing. "It's going to be this weekend. Saturday. The 23rd."

JJ looked down at her plate, beginning to twirl a thin strand of spaghetti on her fork.

Morgan nodded. "I'll be there." he said, sipping his ice cold water.

"What about you, JJ? Your coming too, right?"

She paused. "I haven't gotten a costume yet."

"What? I thought you went costume shopping with Hotch a few days ago?" Prentiss said, sounding too disappointed.

Morgan scoffed then laughed extremely loud. "You've got to be kidding me! You and Hotch went _costume_ shopping?" he shook his head incredulously. "Sorry, JJ, getting Hotch to buy a new colorful tie is not costume shopping, although it is almost just as hard to believe."

Prentiss nodded, wide-eyed. "I know. Does he even own anything that's not black?"

Morgan scoffed again. "Maybe a little color would do him some good. Unless he plans on scaring all of the children with his stern face."

Prentiss laughed, almost swallowing another almond she swiped from his plate whole. "I can see it now! Kids coming to his door for trick-or-treat, and him being like the grumpy old man who yells at the children and calls them pests. Oooh, oooh! I think I just thought of a costume for him!"

Morgan shook his head. "I had a grumpy old man in my old neighborhood in Chicago. All the kids around town avoided him like the plague. Kind of sad, actually, now that I'm older. I don't think it's that he necessarily didn't like kids, he just didn't like the kids in my neighborhood. I don't blame him. All they did was egg people's houses, and when they got older, broke into them."

JJ stayed quiet. Something didn't feel right about jumping into a conversation that was very obviously mocking Hotch. "Well, anyway," she said loudly, finally joining in. "I have to find a costume before I can go."

Prentiss turned to her. "What about Hotch? Is he still going?"

JJ shrugged. "We made plans to go shopping for costumes again, but we never actually set a date."

"So, what are you waiting for? Pick a date and go with him." Morgan said simply, like he was telling her to grab extra straws at the counter or order a side of pickles on a burger or something.

"Yeah, I should." she said, nodding her head. Though she wasn't exactly sure when or how she was going to go about doing it...

Prentiss crumpled up her napkins into a ball and threw them on her plate. "Alright, I'm done. We should go back to work."

JJ cleaned up the table as much as she could and pulled out a tip to lay on the table. "Your going to ask him, right?" Prentiss asked, helping JJ clear the table.

JJ caught her eye. "Oh yeah. I'll ask him."

Prentiss smiled. "Good. I think it'll be good for him. Good for everyone."

"Everyone?" JJ laughed. "How is this good for everyone?"

Prentiss smiled. "You know what I mean."

JJ nodded. Yes, she understood perfectly.

* * *

She was gonna ask him at work. But she hadn't really talked to him much today. At least not about anything not involving work or cases or you know, serial killers and people dying. What a turn-on that is. So she headed home and spent time with her son after picking him up from school. He rambled about school all the way home, then ran up to his room and watched TV, because apparently he'd rather watch TV then talk to his mom when their not in a moving vehicle. She thought about calling him after Henry went to sleep, but she thought 8 o'clock seemed too late. She thought about putting it off for the night. So she did. The house felt very chilly, so she covered Henry up with an extra blanket and turned up the heater, then got dressed in a cotton pajama set that was blue with white clouds on it. They're kind of dorky, but super-warm and comfortable. She buttoned up the top and crawled into bed. About an hour later, which was at around 9:30, the house felt incredibly hot. Uncomfortably hot.

She felt her forehead, which was very sweaty. Her blonde hair was sticking to her neck. "What the hell?" she muttered to herself, unbuttoning her top entirely and walking to the heater. She realized she'd stupidly put it up ten degrees higher, consistently blowing out hot air out of the vents. "Shit." she cussed at herself, lowering it. The degrees on the heater refused to go down. "You bastard!" she whisper-yelled at it. She pressed harder and harder. The button just remained stuck. Unhelpfully, she kicked the heater vent angrily, then burned her foot from it blowing out hot air for so long.

First, she headed into Henry's room and yanked every blanket off of him, then she poured herself a tall glass of cold water. Very relaxing. She then realized her chest and stomach were pretty much drenched too. _Way to go, JJ. _She sat at the kitchen table, shaking her head. Her cell phone started ringing.

"Yes?" she answered, grumpily.

"I'm sorry. Is this a bad time?" Hotch sighed.

"No, not at all," she recovered quickly, sighing and wiping her perspiring forehead. "It's just that my house is way too damn hot."

"Really?" he sounded very surprised. She bet he was. It was freezing cold outside. "It's almost winter." he reminded her.

"I know," she said, sounding too sarcastic. Unintentionally, of course. "The damn heater refuses to bargain with me."

Hotch paused. "Well...since your up...I can come inside and help you." he offered.

"Come inside?" she raised her eyebrows, pushing back the frilly white kitchen curtains and leering out into her frontyard. Sure enough, there's Hotch's car parked outside. "Your here."

"Yeah..."

She paused, pacing around the kitchen, grinning. "Why?"

"I figured you'd be awake, but then once I pulled in and saw the lights were off...I wanted to call. And I was about to hang up because I mean -"

"Who calls at 9:30 when every light in the house is off?" she guessed teasingly.

"Yes, exactly. But then you answered... and that's pretty much how we got here."

She nodded. "Huh. So, um, can you come in now before I cook my son?"

"Yeah. Be right in." he said, and she heard the door handle in his car click open.

"Thank you."

* * *

She opened the front door for him and sighed, flicking on the kitchen light and lighting up the room entirely. She pointed to little tiny white box sticking out of the wall in the corner, with a bunch of confusing buttons and nobs. "It's right there," she said, giving it an evil look. "Thank God you came in. I was about to murder it and bury it in my backyard."

Hotch kept staring at her funny, but stepped inside. She crossed her arms and looked almost offended. "I know, the pajamas are kind of too cutesy for my taste. But they're...comfortable." she gave him another look. "Just fix the heater, please?" she practically pleaded, to get him to stop staring at her that way.

Hotch nodded and walked over to it, taking off his jacket. He was still in his black tie, button-down white shirt and black work pants. Of course he was. He eyed the thing mysteriously, then fiddled with the buttons.

"I tried that." she muttered from the corner, standing in front of the opened door, fanning her face. The cold fall air blowing in cooled her instantly.

"You shouldn't be standing there." he warned her, still staring at the box.

She stopped fanning her face. "Why not?"

"Because you live on a busy street. Cars drive by all the time."

"...And?"

"And your shirt's unbuttoned." he said nonchalantly, eyes still fixed on the box.

She gasped, accidentally out-loud and looked down. She had forgotten she'd unbuttoned her pajama top when she'd gotten out of bed to turn it down. _Shit, JJ. Way to go - again. And here you thought he was looking at you funny because of your childish sleepwear..._ She quickly fumbled with the buttons carelessly, slipping the buttons loosely in the holes unevenly, her shirt slanted. She crossed her arms across her chest. "You could've said something before!" she scolded.

Hotch shrugged, and looked over his shoulder, glancing at her quickly. "I was going to."

"When? I already partially flashed any drive-bys."

He stifled a chuckle and shrugged again. "I _was_ going to tell you. Really."

She took another sip of her cold water glass, mostly to calm the burning sensation on her face. At least she had on a cute bra...

"So, have any idea why it's doing that?" she asked, walking over toward him.

Hotch looked down at her. She wasn't much shorter than him. And he wouldn't admit it, and tried not to show it, but he loved the way her skin was glistening and had a pink tint to it when she was sweaty. It made her skin look shimmery and sexy. He nearly died when a little trickled down her neck and landed on her chest, slowly dripping down under her shirt...

He shook his head. "Not a clue." he sighed.

She leaned over his shoulder and stared at it. "So, I'm supposed to sleep in this?"

He paused. "No." he stared at it a second longer, then curled his hand into a fist and slammed it hard against the box. Then the button decided to work. He pressed it down ten degrees and turned to her. The sound of the heater blowing out air shut off.

"It should cool down in a second, especially if you leave the door open for a few minutes." He said, nodding.

"Wow. Thanks." she smiled at him. "So, why'd you decide to come over?" She motioned for him to sit with her at the kitchen table. He sat down and she poured him a glass of water.

He began unbuttoning the cuff sleeves on his button-down shirt, then rolling them up to his elbows. He looked kind of hot like that.

JJ sat down, raising her eyebrows at him expectantly.

"I just thought you could use some company. I know how it feels to go from sharing everything with someone to being left out of adult interaction completely."

She nodded understandably, then shrugged one shoulder. "It isn't too bad. Will leaving was for the best, like I said."

"How's Henry taking it?"

She smiled when he asked that. She could tell he sincerely cared. "He's actually doing pretty good. He's spending the weekend at Will's Saturday. He'll have fun, I'm sure."

Hotch nodded. "That's good. I'm glad everything's going smoothly. I wish my arrangement with Hayley went that well."

She frowned and reached out, touching his hand sympathetically. She actually felt his body start to relax at her touch. "I'm really sorry for everything you've gone through, Hotch. I know that's the last thing you want to hear, but I am." She laughed a little. "We all want to say that, we just never know how."

Hotch half-smirked. It was hard to tell what that smirk meant. "Thanks. I think?"

She nodded and smiled. "Your welcome... I guess." she laughed again. "But I'm glad you came over either way."

"I bet. I could tell you were pretty sweaty."

She shook her head slightly. "Not just because of that." she almost whispered.

He sat up, leaning forward. "You know I wanted to talk to you today at work. It's just so hard with the cases. I don't want to put this above people dying in my priorities."

She nodded. "I completely understand."

He paused, and started playing with his fingers awkwardly in silence. "So...what does this mean?"

"What do you mean?"

"Us. Everything. I don't know, what does it mean?"

She shrugged. "I'm not sure. We're two adults who really enjoy each other's company. That's pretty much all I need to know."

Hotch pondered this rationally, then nodded. "Okay." he nodded again. "Your right."

"But you don't have to go right now. I wasn't sleeping anyway."

He nodded. "Hayley's sister's watching Jack, so I don't really have to hurry home..."

She smiled. "That's good. I'm glad."

* * *

_Author's note: Uhhh...what should happen next? Tell me guys! What do YOU want to see happen? Please give me some ideas in reviews! I love hearing from you guys! :)  
_


	8. There Goes My Life

_Author's note: This chapter's super-dark. I've had this story in my mind for ages now, but never actually used it until now._

* * *

You are my life. You're the only thing it would hurt to lose.

* * *

"How do you even play this?" Hotch practically scolded the xBox controller in his hand. JJ laughed and reached forward, pressing the B button helpfully. A loud crashing sound thumped through the speakers, and JJ jumped, turning the volume down before it woke up Henry.

Hotch looked at her funny. JJ felt his smirk; she shrugged and vigorously pressed each controller button perfectly, more crashing sounds coming from the speakers. Once the option to skip onto the next level popped up on the screen, she put the controller down on the coffee table. "Henry's aunt bought this for him a while ago. He's too young to entirely get what he's doing when he plays it, so I've kind of kept it company while Henry grows up a bit." she gave him a proud smile.

He laughed, placing his controller down next to hers. "You play video games?"

She nodded, not the least bit embarrassed. "Sometimes. Well, not really," she giggled a little then continued, "I mean, I don't play it often. I just used to with Will sometimes." she looked at his controller, then handed it back to him. "You'll get the hang of it."

He looked down at the colorful buttons and looked at her, uncertain. "I don't think so." he shook his head.

"Sure you will." she said encouragingly. "You just have to play some more."

He laughed a little. "I think I'm good."

She pouted a little. "Aw, really? Okay, maybe some other time." she turned the xBox and TV off, then slumped back down on the couch. Silence. She strained her ears to see if she could actually hear crickets outside, but then decided it was much too cold. Crickets never really come out when it's cold. Or so she thought they don't, because she couldn't ever recall a time when she heard crickets at Christmastime or anything.

"So, everything looks really nice here," he complimented, looking around casually.

She nodded, looking around also. "We like it."

Hotch looked at the noisy clock behind him, and saw that it was 3:30 AM. "Wow, it's late."

She looked at the clock hidden behind his head, then raised her eyebrows. "Yeah, it is. Do you have to get going?"

He sighed, looking at the xBox like it was going to make the decision for him. "I'm not sure... Jack will probably want me to make him breakfast."

"Okay," she stood up, walking him to the front door. It was bittersweet seeing him leave. She would've liked if he stayed longer, but she couldn't possibly imagine what they'd do. They were playing xBox, for God's sakes. "Get home safely."

He nodded, reaching for his jacket. He slid it on, adjusting the collar. "Try and get some sleep." he said with a slight smile.

She nodded. "I'll try." she half-laughed. "It's been a very eventful night."

"I can see that." he actually smiled this time. Not a big smile or anything, but teeth were showing. She took it as a good sign. He looked behind him briefly, pausing before saying something. Something caught his eye outside, and he turned around and eyed it longer.

"What is it?" she asked, stepping on her tippy-toes and leaning against him to get a better look outside.

"Why did someone just pull in your driveway?" he asked cautiously, still staring at the car. It was definitely a man driving, but everything else was pretty much hidden behind extremely tinted windows.

"I'm not sure." she replied.

"Who visits you this late?" he asked.

She laughed a little. "Gee, I don't know." she smiled at him when he looked down at her. "I'll be fine, just go home." she insisted.

"Maybe I should just wait for you to see who it is first," he turned and stared at the car from the porch. "Is that Will's car?"

"No, but I'm sure it's nothing."

"Nothing?" he raised his eyebrows incredulously. Sure, she'd admit it, not to Hotch, but she'd admit that it's funny that someone is pulling up at this hour. But she didn't want to worry him. Like Hotch didn't have enough to worry about.

"I'll be fine," she repeated, smiling at him. "Be careful driving home."

He nodded slowly, stepping down from the porch. "Okay." he sighed, heading to his car.

JJ stood on the porch, until the mystery man in the car stepped out and walked up her porch. She instantly knew who it was. Andy, a guy who used to work in the field with Will. She could've been wrong, but she swore Andy still worked in the field, though Will doesn't.

She noticed Hotch's car was still sitting in the driveway. He was keeping an eye on her. She waved to Hotch, letting him know she knew the man. Hotch pulled out and down the street.

"Andy, what are you doing here?" she asked, her teeth chattering against one another.

A leaf fell from the tree directly next to her porch and fell behind him. Something about Fall is so beautiful, so peaceful, even though it's always very cold.

"Will just talked to me for the last two hours. About everything," he sighed, shaking his head. "I wanted to make sure your okay. I've gone through two divorces, I know how hard they can be."

She smiled nicely at him. She was about to invite him inside, but that seemed foolish after she considered it momentarily. "I'm okay, really."

He looked at the street. "I can see that." There was something hidden beneath his words, something cold and harsh, hidden behind a layer of kind.

She squinted at him. "I was just having some company. Turns out your not the only person worried about my well-being." she half-laughed.

He laughed, too. "That's good. I'm glad your doing okay."

She nodded. "Well, if that's all you needed -"

"That's not really all I need." he blurted out. Same tone. Kind, but harsh somewhere in the distance.

"What do you need?" she asked, folding her arms to keep herself warm.

Andy pulled his olive green army jacket off and handed it to her. She smiled. "No thank you."

"You look cold; really, take it." he insisted, pushing it closer to her.

She waved her hand at it. "Really, I'm fine," she said, more persistent this time. "I should head inside any minute, anyway."

He nodded, pulling it back on. "Suit yourself."

"Andy..."

"Oh, yeah. Your still wondering what I need?"

She nodded slowly. "Yes."

He nodded, grinning. "That's right," he walked over to the porch swing buried in leaves, and sat down. She still stood at the doorway. He patted the seat next to him. "Come sit, and I'll tell you."

"I'm fine right here."

He smirked a little, then frowned slightly. "Come on, Jennifer, please?" he blinked at her. "It'll only be a second. I promise."

She stared at him.

"Come on, that guy got to go inside. I'm just asking for a moment of your time."

She sighed and stood above the swing-set. When she saw his look, she shrugged. "This is the best I can do. I'm not sitting down." she said haughtily.

He nodded. "Okay. That'll do," he played with his hands nervously. Just like Will. Andy wasn't intimidatingly big, but he was much bigger than Will, and only a couple inches taller. He actually seemed pretty nice. His looks were awfully deceiving. "See, a couple years before you met Will...he saved my wife."

She widened her eyes in awe. "That's great."

"I know, it's fantastic, actually," he looked up, smiled a little, then looked back down at his hands. Was he oblivious to the cold? "And since then, I've owed him everything. My life, if I could give it to him."

She nodded, then stupidly sat beside him. "What do you need me for?" she asked softly.

"I need to repay him somehow."

"...And I come in...how?"

"I need to fix whatever happened between you two." he said, sitting up straighter to explain. "Or something like that."

She laughed, putting her hand on his arm. "Trust me, Andy, what happened between us was bound to happen eventually. We both weren't happy in our relationship."

He frowned for a second, then recovered. "But I need to repay him."

"Buy him a giftcard." she laughed.

"It's not like that," he shook his head rapidly, obviously not getting the joke. "I need to do something miraculous. Something like what he did for me." Something flickered sharply in his eyes, and she could see he got an idea.

"I really should go back inside -"

"I need to save you!" he jumped up excitedly, wagging his finger at her. "That's what I'll do!"

She backed up toward the door, reaching for the doorknob. "I don't know what the hell your thinking about -"

"I'm thinking that I need to do something for Will, something great, like save the mother of his child, and he'll see what he means to me." his eyes lit up, and a bright smile appeared on his face.

She looked horrified, and partly shocked. Is Andy gay now? What happened to his wife? She wasn't about to ask. She backed up until her back pressed against the door, and she twisted the knob carefully and slowly. Once it twisted all the way, she kicked it in and ran inside. Andy, darted in behind her, reacting quickly, cupping his hand over her mouth and pulling her close to him. He began stroking her hair gently with his free hand.

"Don't worry, you'll live," he still sounded very pleased with this plan. "The injuries won't be too bad."

Henry tiptoed from his room, and JJ tried waving to him to get him to head back into his bedroom. Andy caught Henry's eye, and his smirk grew bigger. "Oh my GOD!" He yelled, waving Henry over to him. JJ squealed and kicked behind his grip, but nothing worked. "I can save his kid too! Oh my God, oh my God!" he sounded so thrilled he probably wanted to jump up and down. JJ pulled her foot back and jabbed it hard into his shin, then bit down on one of his fingers.

"Ow, you bitch!" he yelled, pushing her into the stove. JJ's hand and face landed on the hot stove, and she screamed in pain, until Andy pulled her back to him, holding Henry's tiny hand in his free hand, cupping JJ's mouth closed so she couldn't scream. He eyed the situation, pleased.

He looked around, wondering exactly how he's going to save them. "I'm thinking...house fire, what about you?" he looked at JJ, and she made some sort of screaming noise behind his hand, but he took that as yes, it's a very good idea.

* * *

He tied JJ up to a chair, and Henry in another one about three feet from her. She screamed and fidgeted in her chair, pulling at the ties, trying to wiggle free. "Will you quit doing that?" he snapped from the corner, grabbing a tank of gasoline. "If you don't stop, I'll knock you out."

She stopped fidgeting, and said something behind the duct tape over her mouth. He began pouring the gasoline all around the living room, the bedroom, skipping the kitchen. "I don't want to kill you guys, honestly," he said, smiling at her. "I just want to be able to save you."

JJ wanted to ask how on earth this was going to work. He's not a firefighter, he doesn't have the right equipment to save them. Tears began welling in her eyes when she saw Henry crying. It didn't really register, the reality of the situation, until she saw poor Henry crying his eyes out in horror. She then began bawling herself. She wasn't sure how she was going to get them out of this one. She'd never really been close to death before, but she's seen plenty of it, and she's seen people she knows in harm's way, but never really her. After all of that time, she was realizing she'd been taking life for granted. All of the close-calls they'd had in the past, they never really imagined _actually_ dying. Now it felt real, and she was screaming and sobbing and she couldn't even look at Henry's face.

He lit a match, and stared at it's flickering proudly, then dropped it on the bedroom carpet, running into the kitchen to eye his masterpiece. He opened the front door, and stepped out into the porch. JJ screamed, and Henry screamed too. The fire was spreading way too quickly, quicker than she'd imagined. With all of her strength, she forced her wrists from the restraints. It was cutting into her skin and she was wincing in pain, but the fire spreading viciously close to them was enough motivation to keep moving. Eventually the ties loosened, and she jumped from her seat, ripping the duct tape off of her mouth. The fire had already spread halfway into the kitchen, where they were tied. Soon it'd be blocking the front door. How stupid is Andy, really? How did he expect to get inside? She scooped up Henry and carried him upstairs, covering his mouth with her hand. All the way up, she was coughing. She felt weak and tired, but she got enough strength to open up a window, sticking Henry out of it so he could breathe in fresh air, she looked down, then kissed Henry's face.

"We're going to be fine." she repeated in his ear, swaying him back and forth. She wasn't quite sure what the plan was, but she could barely see Andy talking on his phone down on the sidewalk. She noticed something in the distance. Hotch's car. Parked about three houses down. She stuck her upper body out of the window and waved to him, yelled to him. Nothing. She was positive that was his car.

"Hotch!" she screamed. Andy looked up, angry, shushing her. She flipped him off, then yelled to Hotch again. She cried in excitement and happiness when she saw Hotch dart out of his car and run over to her house. She squeezed Henry tighter, tears rolling down her cheeks. "He's gonna save us, Henry!" she said, kissing him. Henry coughed into his hand. Hotch better hurry.

Hotch stood on the front lawn, looking up at the bedroom window. "There's a ladder in the garage." JJ yelled down to him. Hotch ran over, pulled it to the side of the house, and instructed Henry and JJ to walk down it. It wasn't going to work.

Hotch began climbing up the ladder, then got up to the window. "Be careful." JJ told him. Hotch grabbed Henry, and began walking down. JJ saw the fire department screaming down the street, pulling into her driveway. JJ climbed out of the window, tip-toeing down the ladder as carefully as possible. She slipped a couple times, but caught her balance. She was about halfway down, then paused.

"I'm going to fall." she told herself, quietly.

"You'll be fine, your almost there, JJ." Hotch coached. She looked out into the street. Hmmm. Where'd Andy run off to?

JJ looked down at Hotch.

"Just fall." he said.

"What? Are you crazy? I'm not falling!" she yelled hysterically.

He sighed. "I'll catch you, don't worry." he opened his arms to her.

"No way." she insisted.

"Scout's honor." he said to her. JJ looked down at the sight of Hotch's arms open wide, Henry hugging his leg nervously. "Your not a scout!" she yelled, still hysterical.

He cracked a smirk. "I trusted you, didn't I?"

JJ closed her eyes, sucked in a breath and let go, falling.

* * *

_Author's note: I swear I'm going to lighten up the next chapter. I just wanted one really dark chapter, where something happened. And I really wanted Hotch to use that line on her. Haha. I PROMISE you guys the next chapter will be happy, so stick with me!_


	9. Standing Outside the Fire

For all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are these, "It might have been."

* * *

The air pulsed through JJ's veins as she fell through the night air. It was a quick fall, but the feeling jolting up her entire body was unforgettable, and seemed to last ages. Landing into his arms was like being woken up from that falling dream people get. Your falling for a split second, then you shoot up. The landing into his arms woke her up instantly, and the jittery butterfly feeling of falling escaped her body, and she was now feeling chills run up and down her spine from the cold fall air stinging her skin through the thin material of her cotton pajamas.

Blonde hairs tickled his face through the wind and he held her, her knees touching his collarbone, her entire body feeling completely collapsed in his arms. The streetlights glistened in his eyes and she expected him to look hesitant or dart his eyes away from hers, but didn't.

"Are you okay?" he asked. It took her a second to register his question.

"Yes, yes," she nodded her head up and down several times. "Absolutely. I'm fine." She felt a ticklish feeling at the very bottom of her throat and she knew it was from the smoke, like it was hiding somewhere in her lungs. A guy from the ambulance came running over to them.

"Is she okay?" he asked nervously. Hotch turned around to face him. JJ still in his arms, Henry still squeezing his leg.

Hotch nodded. "Yes, she's fine. I'd still get them checked out, though," Hotch put her down gently. Instantly, the cold grass and leaves beneath her bare feet made her feel very awake. "They inhaled smoke."

The guy leaned down and tried to pry Henry from Hotch's leg, but he seemed to refuse. Henry buried his face in Hotch's pantleg. Hotch snickered. "It's okay, little buddy," Hotch coached, stroking his hair. "He's a good guy."

JJ smiled, as a lady from the ambulance walked her over to check her over. Hotch picked up Henry and handed him to the guy. Henry looked mortified, and for a second, looked like he was about to start crying, but didn't. He just gave Hotch the saddest, most devastating stare as the guy carried him away.

Hotch inhaled the night air. Now he was useless. JJ's house was small, and not anything remarkable, but it was still a home. Now they were hosing it off like it was something dirty in someone's backyard, and he could only imagine the damage that was done. He shook his head at the sight, completely forgetting how truly exhausted he was.

"How bad is it?" he asked a firefighter who walked by.

The man looked very disappointed to inform him on this. "There's not much left," the guy said, staring at the house sadly. "It's best if you call it a loss."

Hotch nodded at the guy. "Thanks."

The man gave him a sympathetic half-smile and a pat on the shoulder before walking back to his truck.

Standing there, staring at the smoke filling the night sky and practically shielding the bright moon entirely, he wondered how this happened. He had decided to stick around and watch JJ's house for just a little bit. He wondered if JJ would consider that stalking. If he had told her he decided to stay and watch, and the fire never happened, if she would've been freaked out and told him that was insane. Now he was glad he stayed, obviously. His cheeks flushed from embarrassment when he thought about JJ asking him why he stayed. He figured she would. He would've.

Why did he decide to stay? He was trying to think up a good excuse to say. _I had a bad feeling about that guy; I know I'm kind of paranoid, but I just wanted to make sure you were okay, in case, you know, anything happened or you needed me, not that you need me; because I didn't want him seeing you in the pajamas you sleep in, or seeing how beautiful you look without make-up on and when your about ready to go to sleep, or seeing your skin shine when it's just barely sweating, or getting excited when you lean against him and he feels your hair brush across his skin; I didn't want him feeling all of the things I feel about you; I'm selfish, JJ, stay away from me._

He pondered which was more rational. Obviously he was going to skip over the last choices, since they were way too blunt and honest. So he was going to stick with the bad feeling excuse, it was kind of accurate. As accurate of a lie as he was going to tell.

Then something hit him. And once he thought about it, he wondered why he didn't think of it before. He felt like a big red brick smashed his forehead and a light-bulb hovered above his brain, practically screaming the words at him. The guy! He wanted to chase after him, hunt him down, and do anything short of cold-blood murder for trying to kill both JJ and Henry. But when he looked around, making himself dizzy spinning in circles rapidly, there was no sight of him. He didn't even get a very good look, so he couldn't comb the streets for him.

* * *

JJ and Henry were both sent to the hospital to be put on breathing treatments, just to be on the safe side. The ambulance were kind. As soon as they knew something, they informed Hotch. Hotch drove straight to the hospital, though it was about four A.M. and it felt like it was getting much, much colder. His eyes were beginning to droop exhaustively and his whole body felt heavy, but he knew he couldn't go home; he wouldn't sleep without seeing them, in safer conditions.

He was going to call the team, to at least let them know what happened, but decided against it. One) why wake them up? They'd find out soon enough, and no point in freaking them out if their really okay. And two) he didn't want everyone around. He knew Garcia at least would run straight to the hospital, in PJs and curlers if she had to, and he wanted to be the only one seeing them. He hoped Will wouldn't be there, either. He felt guilty for thinking that. Will had a right to see his son, at the very least. But when he walked inside and got directed to her room, he felt instant relief when he saw it was just them two.

He felt stupid, though. He was carrying a cheap tiny vase of fake bright yellow flowers from the gift shop. JJ smiled at him, seeming to like it anyhow. "Henry's sleeping," she whispered, still staring at the flowers. "Those are nice."

Hotch shrugged and grinned awkwardly, placing them on the nightstand beside her bed. "I was in a hurry, I just wanted to grab something, anything." he swallowed, then wheeled the chair in the corner beside her bed so he could sit down. "I haven't even been able to think. My head's just kind of reeling right now."

JJ nodded. "Mine too. I can't process anything right now," she inhaled sharply, her eyes darkening. "I can't think of my house right now. How damaged it is. How I could've lost Henry." she stopped right there, seeming too hard to go on.

Hotch nodded. He lifted his hand, about to grasp hers, but hesitated then decided against it. "JJ, what happened? I mean, I was right there."

Her face paled and then she jumped up, gasping. "Oh my God! Andy!" she couldn't get the words out quick enough. "He started the fire! He wanted to repay Will!"

Hotch jumped to his feet, touching her shoulders. "Okay, okay, slow down. You need to tell me everything. Walk me through it."

She paused, shaking her head. "I don't understand." she said, quieter and slower this time.

"JJ," Hotch said sternly. She looked up, staring hard into his eyes. "Tell me everything. Just like the victims in cases. Just like we tell them, 'We have to know this.' Please. Tell me."

She nodded. Hotch sat on the bed beside her and listened. He listened and listened to every bit of the story until it felt like hours had passed. Until JJ's eyes started to close and she fell asleep. Until the sun peered in through the hospital curtains awkwardly. Until Hotch fell asleep holding her. Until a nurse woke them both up and told them she was being discharged.

Hotch stretched out, and JJ crawled out from under her covers, reaching for the other chair in the corner beside Henry's bed. The room was filled with three beds altogether, but the third was empty. The only reason they didn't send JJ home was because the hospital wasn't busy at all. She pulled her jeans on from under her gown and fiddled with the knot in the back of the gown, growling at it miserably.

"Let me help you." Hotch offered, yawning and reaching for the knot. They did tie it awfully well. Pain in the ass, maybe, but a good thing. Soon Hotch loosened the knot and the gown slipped right off of her effortlessly. Her back looked so tiny from behind; shoulder blades peeking out behind soft skin. He wanted to reach out and trace it all over with his fingertips, liking the idea of giving her chills, but instead turned around and let her finish getting dressed.

"So, what are we going to do?" she asked him, flipping her hair out from her shirt, turning around.

Hotch turned around once he was certain she was dressed. "I'm going to find Andy," he handed her her purse. "Your going home to rest. Take a long nap. A seriously long nap."

She frowned at him. "Okay, doctor." she smirked.

"No, really. I don't want you getting out of bed for anything. You've had an extremely long night, JJ."

"You don't have to tell me," she tilted her head to the side and smiled. "Thanks for saving me." she leaned down and patted Henry's sleeping head. "And for most of all, saving my son."

Hotch smiled at her, then smiled down at Henry's exhausted body looking peaceful in the hospital bed.

"I should wake him up. I bet he's so confused right now," JJ sighed, laughing a little. "Hell, I'm confused right now."

"We'll get it all figured out," he paused, then shook his head. "No. I'm going to figure it out. Your not doing anything but sleep."

"Oooh," she looked up at the ceiling sarcastically. "That'll be _so_ hard."

"You'll survive." he grinned. "After everything last night, I'm pretty sure your invincible."

She nodded, turning around to face Henry. Hotch leaned forward and grabbed her wrist, stopping her. "Hey, is it okay if I wake him? I kind of want to say something to him." he asked.

JJ nodded, looking slightly confused and curious, then smiled. "Yeah, sure, go ahead. I'll go check us out."

"Okay." Hotch smiled at her and waited until she walked down the hall, then he sat on the edge of the bed and shook Henry's arm softly. Henry rubbed his eyes with his tiny hands and blinked a few times before Hotch was in focus. Hotch smiled at him.

"You feeling okay this morning?" Hotch asked.

Henry shrugged. "I'm okay," he squinted his eyes at the opened door in the room. "Is mommy?"

Hotch nodded. "Mommy's just fine." his smile was sincere, and seemed to relax Henry's tensing body a little bit. "She only wants you to be healthy. Do you really feel okay?"

Henry nodded.

"Nothing hurts?" he didn't know why he was asking, the doctors swore up and down they checked him over really good. No burns. Maybe a tiny one on his ankle. It'd heal though, and it probably wouldn't scar.

Henry shook his head.

"Listen, buddy. I'm sorry I let go of you when the man wanted to take you away." Hotch said. Henry looked down. "I know you were scared, and I thought maybe you felt safe with me."

Henry didn't respond.

"I liked the idea that you feel safe with me. I want you to trust me," Hotch looked down. "Do you still trust me?"

Henry paused, then nodded.

"Good." Hotch smiled. "Because I wouldn't have let you go unless I was one-hundred percent positive that it was only helping you. You understand?"

Henry nodded, then smiled.

Hotch picked him up and helped him out of the bed, then helped him get dressed, then held his hand as they walked to the lobby. Henry seemed to trust him. And seemed to really like holding onto his leg when he got scared. Like when a guy in a wheelchair hooked up to an IV strolled by, Henry's face turned pale and he made a squealing scared noise, then buried his face in Hotch's pantleg again.

Hotch stroked his hair. "Hey, did you see the fishes in the tank over there?"

Henry shook his head behind the soft fabric of Hotch's work pants.

"They remind me of that movie. What's that movie called? It's about that fish...I can't remember..."

"Nemo?" Henry suggested helpfully.

"Yes! Nemo!"

The man eventually got put into a room. Hotch patted his head. "You can look now."

Henry tentatively removed his face from behind it's shield and scanned the room, then looked pleased once the guy attached to the needle was gone. He looked up at Hotch, beaming, then at the fishes. Hotch was certain he'd made it up to him. Now he just had one last thing to do. Catch Andy. Then he'd make it up to JJ.

* * *

_Author's note: Kind of a happier chapter. Wrote it kind of fast (it's late), so I hope it's good. :) P.S. Hotch Fan wanted a scene between the four of them (JJ, Hotch, Henry and Jack) and I want you to know I definitely plan on using that sometime in the story (and I STILL plan on dressing Hotch in a witch costume sometime in the story; after all, they never finished costume shopping)_. Thanks guys for reading!


	10. Come On Over

JJ was twisting the knob on Hotch's car radio. The knob was annoyingly small, and every time she gripped onto it to turn it, it escaped from her hand. She threw her hands up, giving up, apparently deciding on a jazz channel. "How do you work this?" she said, shaking her head out of the window.

Hotch didn't miss a beat; he was quick to defend his beloved car. "It fits my needs," he countered.

She scoffed, catching a peek at sleeping Henry buckled up safely in his car seat in the rear-view mirror. She smiled, and when Hotch looked over and saw it, he smiled at her, thinking she was smiling at him. Whatever. Why bother correcting him?

"Besides, they don't let me drive the FBI SUVs all the time." Hotch informed, shifting slightly, clutching his steering wheel rather proudly.

JJ smirked. "I'm just saying, I think it's time to consider going new car shopping."

"Please," he said, "I can't even commit to costume shopping."

JJ piped up in her seat, slapping her hands loudly on her knees, becoming wildly aware of the idea all over again. "Yes! That reminds me!" she exclaimed excitedly. She sat up really close and turned to face him as she talked, her blue eyes shining. She apparently had forgotten all about the crappy radio and the crappy radio station blaring old jazz tunes that neither of them cared for. Hotch wanted to tease her for it, but decided to wait until the perfect opportunity. When she wasn't practically bouncing in her seat in delight.

"Morgan and Prentiss and I went to lunch the other day and we talked about the party," she was saying it super-fast because she was really excited about the idea. Hotch glanced at her every now and then to ensure her that he was actually listening, and surprisingly, was hearing her. "And I told them that neither one of us decided on a costume yet."

He paused. Waited. When she kept blinking at him, he said, "And?"

"And," she said, not ever breaking her smile. Her smile curved slightly, like she was thinking something naughty, or worse, something she knew he'd really, really hate. "I was thinking it's about time we return to that store."

He stared at her funny. "Your kidding, right?" he asked blandly.

"Well, maybe not _that_ store, but others," she blinked at him again. She didn't wait for him to speak. "Others that preferably sell clothes. And, you know, not suits and ties and blazers, but clothes as in funny wigs and costume make-up and boas and really slutty shoes that no girl would actually ever wear out on any other night _but_ Halloween."

He grinned a little, eyes still fixed on the road. "You really like this Holiday." he didn't say it as a question, rather a statement, like he was certain of it.

"Not really." she said, deflating a little.

"Yes, you do," he decided, nodding slightly. "I can tell."

She paused. "It's not really this party I'm excited about." she said, kind of slowly and really quietly, like she was ashamed.

He arched an eyebrow. "Your not?" he asked, skeptical.

She shrugged, like it suddenly didn't matter; like she didn't just spiel off a rant about it. She fell back in her seat. "No." she shook her head.

She knew he wanted to ask her something else. It seemed to hover in the empty space between the driver's and passenger's seat. She pressed her head against the cold glass window. It felt nice against her hot face. How hot did Hotch have the heat up, anyway?

"Are you warm?" he asked after a second passed.

He turned the dial on a button all the way over to the other side, then smirked a little. She felt his smirk fly it's way over to her, and she looked over at him. "What?" she asked.

He shrugged. "Nothing,"

She raised her eyebrows. "Uh huh. What is it?" she prompted.

"I'm just wondering how long it was going to take before you started unbuttoning your shirt."

She narrowed her eyes at him. Her first instinct as a woman was to slap him, and instantly be offended. Then her second thought was to be confused. Then, once she thought it over - which didn't take much thinking - it dawned on her. Broken heater at her house. Unbuttoned pajama top. Hotch. She felt heat rush back to her face. She pressed it back to the window, her face turning wet from the fogginess.

"Ha-ha." was all she said. She felt his smirk again, but didn't bother looking. She didn't want to think about Hotch seeing her with her shirt opened. It was a very dirty thought she didn't feel like thinking with her son in the backseat. It just felt wrong. She shifted uncomfortably, and wanted to stop thinking about him altogether. Which was hard, because he was about five inches from her.

"So, how bad is my house?" she asked.

His body tensed. He didn't respond, just weaved lane to lane on the busy highway.

"Hotch?"

"I wanted to talk to you about that," he said. The way he said it, made her feel shaky and uneasy. "I just didn't know when to bring it up."

"It's bad, isn't it?" she didn't have to ask.

He took a second, then nodded gently. He looked over at her, sad. "Yeah, JJ, it's really bad."

She sat up straighter, adjusted the belt tight against her chest and faced him. "How bad?"

"I didn't go inside, but from what I heard from a guy who helped put out the fire and from what I'd seen..." he blinked a few times at the road. "There's not much to it."

She twisted a thin strand of hair around her finger, trying not to completely and totally lose it. "Not much left, you mean?" she asked, her voice still shaky.

He nodded. "I'm really sorry." he said, sincerely. He paused, and noticing her focus drifting off. "Are you okay?"

She was making a mental list, checking off one by one everything she'd have to replace, everything she'd lost. She'd lost everything. Her purse, her wallet, her credit cards, her make-up, her clothes, her shoes, Henry's toys, Henry's clothes, Henry's bed, her bed, her photos. She'd lost everything. Everything was burnt to crisps, just tiny ashes collecting on a floor that was once in great condition. She didn't know whether to cry or just shake her head at how sucky things were turning out.

"JJ?" he asked after a minute, allowing her to recollect herself.

She barely forced a nod. "I have no idea what I'm going to do," she shook her head, becoming dizzy at the thought of everything she'd have to do. "I have to call the credit card companies and tell them what happened, to send me new cards. I have to," she had to stop thinking. She needed coffee. It was way too early for her to even be awake. She squeezed her forehead, which was beginning to have a migraine tense feeling. "I have to just breathe."

"Yes, exactly, just breathe," Hotch coached, touching her knee. His touch brought her back to reality, and made her relax, instant warmth calming her. She inhaled and exhaled like her Yoga teacher has instructed her to do. "We'll take care of everything."

She actually believed him. Maybe it's the way Hotch actually commits to the things he promises, or maybe it's the way he says it, so honest and sounding so sweet about it, that when he swears on things, she trusts him completely. It's nice to have at least that left. She let her face fall directly into her hands. "Oh my God." she shook her head slowly.

"What?"

"I have to call Will."

He understood. Of course she did. Get the address of Andy so Hotch could make him pay. Simple. He reached down and grabbed his cell phone, handing it to her automatically, since hers had gone up in flames.

She took it from his hands. "This is going to suck so bad." she said, still shaking her head.

"Just don't explain the reason why you need his information right away," he suggested. "Just say it's important."

She gave him a funny look, furrowing her eyebrows at him. "I'm not telling Will about Andy. At least not right now."

He glanced at her. "What? Then why do you need to call him?" he couldn't stop thinking about Andy. He wanted her to call Will now. Not for any other reason. Not to tell him she's okay. It's obvious she's okay. She's okay because of him. Selfishly, that's all he could think about. But another part of his mind only wanted to track down Andy.

She pressed three digits of Will's number then inhaled deeply. "I have to ask him if it'd be okay if I could stay with him." she exhaled then dialed two more.

"Wait, what? Why?" he sounded kind of frantic about it. He hoped she didn't notice. No wait, she had to of.

"Because I need somewhere to sleep."

He reached for her phone and took it from her, clicking the End button. "I wouldn't make you do that," he said, shaking his head. "You can stay with me and Jack."

She scratched her neck awkwardly. "I couldn't burden you like that," she said decisively. "I'll just call Will. His brother's nice."

"What if Andy visits? No, no, it's a bad idea. Just stay with me." he looked at her, catching her eyes and staring into them. "Really."

She nodded. "Alright, if you really don't mind -"

"Believe me, I don't."

"Okay, then," she shrugged, smiling. "I guess that saves me the embarrassment of that."

"Good. Glad to help." he said quietly, nodding. He felt kind of relieved that while his first reaction when she brought up sleeping over at Will's wasn't any of the above he mentioned, he seemed to bring up good points accidentally that actually made him feel nervous anyway. But his first thought was actually, _I don't want you sleeping over at his house or his brother's house or wherever he's staying. I don't want you to sleep next to him or even in the same floor as him and think about how it used to be when he slept next to you, if he won't be already, and then one thing leads to another and next thing you know, your telling me you two are back together._

"You do know eventually I want you to call Will and get Andy's information though, right?" he asked, pulling into his driveway.

She nodded. "Yes," she pushed her hair behind her ears. "But can it wait until I sleep a little bit more?"

He nodded. "Yes, absolutely," he opened his car door. "I'll head inside and give Jack a warning ahead of time that we're going to have some guests for a while."

She smiled weakly at him. "Is this going to be a big deal for him?"

He liked that she cared how Jack would feel. Honestly he hadn't even considered it. "I'm sure it'll be fine." he reassured her. Or he hoped it would be.

* * *

Hotch headed inside, announcing himself as he stepped in. Hayley's sister was passed out on the couch, a book opened on her stomach. He walked over to her and touched her arm. She jumped up, scared.

"God, Aaron, thanks a lot," she snapped, sitting up, rubbing her eyes. "Is everything alright? Where the hell were you?"

He looked down and fixed his tie, about to explain. She didn't let him.

"Why do I even bother asking? You don't even have to tell me," she shook her head at the couch. "I know where you were." she crawled out from under the blanket and slowly walked to the back of the room, gathering her things.

"I wasn't at work." he defended.

She scoffed, stuffing things half-assed into her bag. "Oh, how nice," she sounded very cocky this morning. Hotch sighed, rubbing harsh above his eyebrow. He was way too tired and stressed to deal with this right now. He glanced at the clock above one of the kitchen counters. 6:13 AM. Way too early. How could he very politely shut her up and ask her to leave? "I'm staying here with your child while you parade around town doing God knows what."

He grabbed her arm, forcing her to look at him. "You know I'm nothing like that," he said softly, trying to reach her. If she had any ounce of respect for him, she'd believe him, he told himself. "I just had something to take care of. Something very important. Believe me."

She pulled her arm away from his grip. "Yeah, yeah, I get it," she nodded at him, not really getting it. At least not the way he wanted her to. "Your always too busy."

"I'm not saying that -"

She turned around, sharp on her heels. "Just don't even waste your breath. Do you even have time to do that?" she didn't give him a chance to respond. "Just go say hello to your son. And go about your business as you always do." she turned around to leave, but thought of something, then turned around and said, "Make sure you keep your phone nearby, so you can always reach me when you need to leave. What's the next big thing on your list of important things to do? Buy dessert? I wonder where Jack is listed on your importance scale."

He didn't know what to say. He felt like the breath was taken from him. He felt like he was sinking. He literally felt very, very short and tiny. He felt like she could scoop him up between her index finger and thumb and crush him if she wanted to. It felt like she already had.

She gave him a sharp look before exiting, with a very loud door slam. He felt like if this were a movie, he should be clapping for her outstanding performance of a scorned woman.

JJ followed in shortly after her exit, carrying a sleeping Henry. "Was that Hayley's sister?" she asked.

Hotch nodded, sighing heavily. "Yeah, that's her."

"She seemed kind of -"

He waved his hand at her. "Just forget about it, it was nothing."

She wanted to say she overheard the conversation. She wanted to say she was wrong. But she didn't think that was enough.

* * *

Once Henry was safely tucked in bed, and Jack was still sleeping, Hotch set them up with early morning coffee. The steam alone was enough to make her feel more at ease. She inhaled the nice aroma that poured out with the steam. "Thank you so much," she said almost breathlessly, so relieved to have something nice and warm in comparison to the freezing cold fall weather.

He nodded, just holding onto his mug, staring down at it, quiet.

"Your still thinking about what Jessica said, huh?" she asked after several steaming hot sips.

"You heard that?" he frowned.

"Oh, yeah. Every gory detail," she tried to smile; it didn't seem to make him feel any better. "She was out of line."

He stared deep in his coffee mug, watching the creamer swirl in the dark blend in his cup. "Was she wrong?"

JJ nodded, reaching for his hand. It was very warm from holding onto his cup for so long. "She was _so_ wrong, Hotch," she stared intently into his eyes. "Beyond I can ever begin to say."

"No, she wasn't wrong, JJ," he shook his head. "She was completely right. I make everything a priority. I try to fix everything. Why isn't driving my kid to school every now and then a priority?"

She blinked. "Because a bus comes every morning?"

He cocked his head to the side. "Funny."

She smiled. "Hey, you'd try to inject humor if this were me."

He raised one eyebrow. "Would I? It is me, after all."

"True." she wagged her finger at him knowingly, smirking. She gripped his hand tighter. "No, seriously. Maybe you don't do every little thing with Jack, but all in all, your prioities are in the right place. When Jack'll really need you, you'll be right there, I know it."

He forced a smile.

"The only thing you need to work on is enjoying life from time to time," she said, smiling sadly. "Sometimes I wonder that you let the good things just pass you by without really seeing the true beauty of it all."

He stared at her for a moment, then started chuckling. "You sound like a Hallmark card right now."

She slapped his hand she'd been holding. "Way to ruin a moment," she shook her head, jokingly.

He smiled at her, then laughed. His laugh was such a strange sound. It was unfamiliar. Out of the windows, birds chirped away. She wondered if they were freezing their asses off. _Hotch ought to get a bird feeder. _Maybe it's too soon to think about decorating.

"Thanks for letting me stay with you," she said, smiling at him with her eyes.

"Really, it's no problem." he began picking at a napkin at the center of the table. He picked at it until pieces of it started falling off, hitting the floor undenreath the table.

"Your making a mess." she said after a moment of observing him.

"I don't know what to say."

"I can vacuum for you," she said helpfully.

He stopped picking at it. "Not about that," he placed it back at the center. The edges were all torn now and ragged. "To you, I mean."

She raised her eyebrows, surprised. "How do you mean?"

He shifted, then grabbed his cup and refilled it to the brim. Just to focus on anything. Something that didn't result in vacuuming. He sighed. She got up and stood beside him, her back pressed against the counter.

"I don't know, how do you feel?" he asked, turning to her.

"About?"

"About everything. Have you even thought about what could have happened last night?"

"I try not to," she said, nodding, her eyes clouding over with dark thoughts. "The thought of losing Henry is just more than I can take."

He nodded. "I understand."

She looked hard into his eyes.

"I feel the same way when I think about it," he put his cup down on the counter and put his hand on her waist. He didn't want to. Well, he _did_ want to, but he didn't think he'd actually do it. He just did. He kept his eyes laid directly on where his hand was, like he was telepathically telling himself to move it. "I can't think about losing you."

She leaned in, until his breath felt hot against her face. It felt nice and warm, like the coffee did. She kept thinking, _Kiss me, kiss me. I need this. I have to feel this. I think I'm forgetting how it felt._

He kept thinking, _I can't kiss you. If I do, I won't be able to stop thinking about it. I can't. I refuse to do it._

Turns out pulling away would be a lot harder than kissing her. He kept moving in until their lips pressed against each other's seamlessly and they kissed. Passionate and warm. Exactly what they both needed. She felt that light funny airy feeling at the soles of her feet and she felt like lifting her leg in the air like some women did in movies. When she lifted it, she felt stupid, but at the same time, liked the feeling of it. It really did make the kiss more romantic in a really odd way.

He put his hands on her lower back, his fingers slipping under her shirt only slightly, where two of his fingertips were tracing above her belt.

She let go and nuzzled her face in the crook of his neck, where her face fit perfectly. He smelt completely different than Will. Maybe it was the way she strongly desired Hotch like she'd never really desired anyone, but for some reason, she thought maybe Hotch smelt better. She drove her face deeper into his neck, just relaxing it there momentarily, then started kissing it. His skin was hot against her lips.

He buried his lips in her ear, entangled in blonde hair. He groaned in it softly. "We probably shouldn't," he wanted to say, but it barely came out. He couldn't catch his breath.

She pulled away first. Good thing, because he wasn't about to. His body felt strong pressed against her tiny frame. She let out a breath. "Wow."

He didn't know what to say other than, 'Wow.' It fit the situation perfectly. "Wow." he repeated.

"Is Jack getting up soon?" she asked, pushing her hair back. Them kissing instantly warmed up.

He thought about it for a second. "I don't know, not for another hour and a half, I assume."

"I really should get settled in and try to sleep for a little while. Can you show me where I'm sleeping?"

"Yes, yes, of course," he said eagerly, directing her up the staircase. He was relieved she'd changed the subject. No awkward kiss conversations. His head was still spinning. He walked her into a bedroom with the door wide open.

"You can take my bed," he scrambled inside, adjusting the messy comforter quickly, puffing up the pillows for maximum coziness. "I guess I didn't have time to make my bed. It usually doesn't look like this -"

"Hotch," she raised her hand, cutting him off. "My other alternative is a house with, I can only imagine, only a couple walls left standing. This is perfect."

He stopped fixing it and smiled. "Well, if you need anything, I'll be across the hall."

"Uh, yeah, actually, there is something," she sat on the bed. "Can I borrow clothes to sleep in?"

"Oh right!" he had forgotten about that. She had nothing. He opened up both closet doors and eyed it for a second, then stepped aside. "Help yourself. Anything you like."

"Thanks," she smiled, surveying her choices. "You've been really great, Hotch. I mean, I can't even tell you how much all of this means to me."

He couldn't tell her how much those words meant to him. He pressed hard against the door frame to keep from attacking her. He wanted to feel her in his arms again. "Anytime."

He closed the door and headed down to the spare bedroom.


	11. She's Everything

Hotch woke up at around mid-noon. He had intended on sleeping in the spare bedroom, the one where Jessica usually slept when she stayed overnight to babysit, but couldn't get comfortable. The pillows were too firm, the comforter was a funny material, the sheets kept crumpling. He headed downstairs and laid slumped on the sofa, just staring at the ceiling, his head propped up on the arm rest. He thought about everything. He thought about Jack. What Jack was going to look like ten years from now, if Hotch would be alive to see it considering the dangers of his job, what Jack would be like in high school, if Jack would resent Hotch not always being around, if Jack would see his father as a hero. What would Jack look like in college, or getting married, or having his own children. He thought about why he never had any more children besides Jack. He thought about whether he ever considered asking Hayley if she wanted any more. He thought about JJ, how she could've died last night, how another life he cared for could've been taken away so simply, just like that. He thought about her sleeping upstairs, and how it was an effort to not hold her in his arms everytime he saw her. He kept thinking until he wound up asleep.

But he woke up a few hours later to Jack shaking him, telling him he was heading off to school soon. Hotch asked if he needed breakfast. Jack said no, that he'd already poured himself cereal and eaten it. The bus outside honked noisly and Jack quickly hugged and kissed him goodbye, scampering off to his future, not even asking anymore why Hotch didn't come home last night. After he couldn't go back to sleep. He took a shower and gotten dressed, deciding to call work, since he hadn't even given a reason why he didn't go in. Or why JJ didn't go in, either. Come to think of it, they probably were freaked out.

He checked his cell phone and noticed everyone on the team called. Three voice messages from Morgan. He played the first one. _Hotch, where are you? Your an hour and a half late. Is JJ with you? It's not like you to be late. Call me back. See ya. _Delete. Next one: _Hotch, seriously, it's been two hours. Did something happen? We're really worried about the both of you. Call me as soon as you get this. _Delete. Next one: _Hotch, everybody's losing it over here, man, call us, would you? Garcia tried and she couldn't reach JJ. Are we going to have to send out a search party? I'm giving you until noon then I'm finding out where you are. _Hotch deleted it then checked the clock, noticing that it was about fifteen minutes past twelve. He quickly called him back.

"Hotch!" Morgan exclaimed into the phone, sighing a breath of relief. "Where the hell have you been? We've all been panicking."

"I'm fine," he said casually. "We both are."

Morgan sighed, this time sounding angry and exasperated. "So she is with you," he said slowly, leading Hotch to believe he was informing the whole team on this discovery.

Hotch nodded. "Yes, she's fine too," he insisted. "But something did happen late last night."

"Something what?" Morgan said, panicked. "Something _did_ happen? What happened, Hotch?" Wow. He said they were fine, no reason to freak, Morgan. Hotch never noticed how panicky he truly is. He always thought he was the strongest of all of them.

"JJ's house caught fire."

"Is she okay?" Morgan practically yelled.

"Yes, I said she is."

He sighed, and he heard Morgan tell everyone in the background the exact same news. "How did the fire start?" he asked, back to their conversation.

"It's a long story, but it wasn't an accident, Morgan," Hotch informed slowly, giving him time to process it thoroughly. "Some guy, a friend of Will's, tried to kill them."

Morgan made a noise of some kind, and Hotch imagined how angry this must be making him.

"Well, he wanted to save them. It's kind of a confusing story, and I don't have time to explain. Either way, I'm not coming into work today and neither is JJ."

Morgan sighed. "How can I help?" he then paused and asked, "Did Will have anything to do with this?"

"I don't think he did," Hotch sighed. "Or I'm hoping he didn't."

"Man, that'd kill JJ," Morgan shook his head. Then the panic in his voice returned. "Wait, you said them? Whose 'them'?"

Hotch pulled the phone from his ear and gave it a funny look, then brought it back. "What?"

"You said, 'He tried to kill them.' Whose 'them'?"

"Henry." Hotch said, sounding slightly irritated. I mean, how could he have forgotten?

"Henry was there?" Morgan said, shocked. Hotch heard gasps coming from the distance.

"Yes, but he's okay too. They went to the hospital and stayed overnight, but they're fine. They weren't burned anything, nothing too serious," he inhaled sharply. "They're staying with me now."

He heard the silence on the other end. It was strangely and awkwardly very loud. "How come she's staying with you?" Maybe Hotch was wrong, but he heard the slightest bit of a smirk in Morgan's tone.

"Because her house burned down, Morgan," he replied, wanting to smack him. "It's no big deal. Where else was she supposed to go?"

Morgan shrugged a shoulder, smirking widely. "Oh, I don't know," the smirk was heavily apparent in his tone. "Maybe the house of the father of her kid?"

Hotch sighed, very annoyed. "She was going to call him but I told her not to. It'd be very awkward for her."

"I bet." Morgan nodded. He was still smirking.

"Cut it out." Hotch snapped.

"Okay, fine," still smirking. "So, you two, uh," he pictured Morgan wiggling his eyebrows teasingly. He really was, too. "Have a good night last night?"

Hotch's cheeks flushed. "I'm hanging up now."

"Fine, fine, have it your way," Morgan said, more seriously. "But if you ever want to talk to me about _stuff,_ I'm free to call. Anytime." his smirk returned.

"_Stuff?_ What's _stuff?_"

"You know." he wiggled his eyebrows again.

Hotch raised his. "No, I don't."

Morgan sighed, annoyed at him not getting it. "About," he brought his mouth closer to the phone and whispered. "About _sex._"

Hotch started blushing again. He put his face in his hand. "That won't ever happen," he clarified. "Ever."

"What won't? You talking to me about sex or you having sex with JJ?"

Hotch paused. "The first one. Definitely."

Morgan was smiling now. "Fair enough," he shrugged. "But the offer will always be there."

Hotch grinned. "Thanks."

"And take care of her, Hotch, although I know you will."

Hotch nodded. "Of course."

Morgan took a breath. "So, is there anything we can do to help you find this son of a bitch?"

Hotch shook his head immediately. "No. I'll handle this, it's all taken care of."

"Are you sure?" Morgan asked, sounding uncertain.

"Yes, definitely," Hotch nodded. "I'll see you guys tomorrow."

"Okay..." Morgan said, He hesitated hanging up. "Just be careful," he exhaled softly then said, "Please."

* * *

Hotch had decided to call Will himself. He convinced himself over coffee and heavily thinking that that would be the best solution. Of course, he didn't know Will's cell phone number. He looked around for JJ's phone, but remembered ten minutes in that it had burned down. Of course. He had to call Garcia and have her give him his cell phone number, which was a bad idea, since she was all rattled about the fire and whatnot.

"So, she's okay? My baby's okay, right?" she asked, frantically.

Hotch stared at the number on the yellow Post-It sticky. "Yes, Garcia, they're sleeping right now," he smiled and added, "Peacefully." he heard her sigh a pleased sigh, relaxing. He was still smiling. He was glad that he was the reason they were peaceful.

"So you need me to help track down this bastard? I can do that!" she exclaimed, happy to help.

He shook his head. "It's not necessary, it'll be quicker this way," though much, much more awkward. "I should call him now."

"Keep me posted, please?" Garcia batted her lashes at the computer screen in front of her.

"I'll tell you guys about everything tomorrow at work." he promised.

She sighed; that wasn't good enough. She wanted instant updates like Twitter feed or something. "Fine." she decided. "Be careful."

He nodded. Yet another person he had to promise that to. He clicked off and sat at the kitchen table, dialing Will's number.

It rang three times before the sound of rustling picked up then Will's voice. He was breathing heavier than usual. "Hello?" He didn't recognize the number.

"Hey, Will, it's Aaron Hotchner," he paused. "I work with JJ." Silence. "I was at the hospital when she delivered Henry." Silence. "Okay, never mind -"

Will shook his head. "No, no, of course I remember you," he said, laughing slightly. "I was just trying to figure out why you're calling me. Is everything alright?"

"Yes," okay, that's a lie. "For the most part. I just need you to do me a favor."

Will paused. "Okay, what is it?" he asked, sounding reluctant and curious.

"I need an address of one of your friends," When Will didn't say anything, Hotch continued, "Andy's address."

Will paused again. Hotch heard a noise of legs of a chair squeaking against a tile floor and the sound of cheap wood making a creaky noise. "How come?" he asked, hesitant.

"I can't really tell you, but it's really important." The last thing Hotch needed was Will getting in the middle of the ass-kicking process.

"Then I can't give it to you." Will challenged.

"Will, I'm serious," Hotch said.

"You're always serious." Will said cockily.

Hotch sighed. He was about to throw his phone into the kitchen sink, shove it down the garbage disposal and flick the switch so it chopped away into millions of angry pieces. "Will, I can get the address if I have to, I work with the FBI, but I figured you'd want to help, since this is important to JJ."

Will sighed. Hotch relaxed, thinking maybe he got through to him. "What did Andy do?" Will asked cautiously.

"I can't say, but I can promise she and Henry are just fine," he left out the fact that they're staying with him. "So, are you going to give it to me or not?"

Will paused thoughtfully. "Fine, but you have to promise me two things,"

Hotch readjusted in his seat. "Tell me them first."

More fumbling noises in the background. "One, promise me you'll let me know what's going on," Will began.

"After I take care of it, definitely. You'll hear it from JJ herself." Hotch swore.

Will paused, then decided that was good enough. "And two, that they're both okay," he paused, exhaling sadly. "That they're happy, I mean."

Hotch felt sad. Like he was being involved in something that wasn't his, and never will be. "Yeah. They're happy." Hotch said, kind of lying. I mean, he didn't really know if they are or not.

"Okay then." Will said, in a final kind of way, like that was all he needed to know all along.

* * *

Hotch scribbled on another yellow Post-It sticky, slapping it on the kitchen table. It said, _Decided to pick Jack up for lunchtime at school and take him out. Help yourself to the shower or kitchen appliances or anything you might need. My place is your place._ He was going to be honest; really, he was. He had actually written down several honest notes, but they all sounded wrong. _Going to find Andy, w_as the first one he wrote, then followed: _Got Andy's address. I'll be back later._ Then the last one, the absolute worst: _Found Andy. Don't worry, I'll get him back. _He crumpled them up and tossed them in the white plastic garbage bin beside the counter and decided to lie. Lying was easier.

He pulled into the small concrete driveway of Andy's small house. Frilly curtains in the window, floral swing on the porch, and if Hotch was a betting man, he'd guess the inside decorations and furniture were very feminine too. He walked up the porch and knocked on the door. He wasn't stupid, he had gotten a warrant. He was about to tell his team and inform all sorts of people so he wouldn't search the house alone, cause that's never a good idea, but he wanted to do this alone. He knocked again. The door knob twisted but never opened.

"Andy?" Hotch called. He nudged the door open slightly but carefully with the toe of his boot. It creaked open about an inch. He shoved it harder, until it opened halfway. He crept in, gun raised.

"Andy?" he called again. He searched the living room, the kitchen. There wasn't a second floor. It was a very tiny house. Where was this wife he talked about, that Will saved?

Dishes filled the sink, leftover empty containers trashed the counter-tops. This wasn't the house of a housewife. This was the house of a lonely bachelor. Who had lost his partner; the house still filled with what's left of her.

"Glad to see you could make it," a voice said, making his way to the kitchen. Hotch pointed his gun to the direction of the voice. Will stepped into the kitchen, a big smirk on his face. Hotch lowered his gun tentatively.

"Why are you here?" Hotch said, accusingly.

"I want to know what's going on." Will said simply, shrugging his shoulders.

"Did you tell Andy I was coming?" Hotch was infuriated. "Did you tell him to go somewhere else?"

Will shrugged again, teasingly. He was about to be pistol-whipped Hotch was so angry. "Maybe,"

"You don't realize what you just did," his lips tightened furiously. "Your letting a killer walk free. A killer who tried to kill JJ and Henry." he didn't mean for it to slip, but he was so angry he couldn't stop himself once he was ahead.

Will frowned. "You don't know what the hell your talking about." he said, shaking his head rapidly. "Your the one storming in here waving your gun around."

Hotch stared at the ceiling to keep from sucker-punching Will. "I have a good reason to, I don't want him harming JJ again," he said.

"How did he harm JJ?" Will was sounding like he was being cocky about the situation. He didn't believe Hotch. "You said she's okay."

"She is," he nodded. "But last night her house burned down."

Will's face paled.

"Andy started the fire, saying something about you saving his wife years ago and wanting to repay you, I don't know all of the details, you'll have to ask JJ -"

Will raised his hand. "Whoa, whoa, wait. Saving his wife? I never saved his wife."

Hotch narrowed his eyes at him. "Okay, that's it," he pulled out a chair from under the table and pushed it over to Will. "Your telling me everything right now."

"Like you told me?" Will said, raising his voice. "You left me out of _everything_. She was my girlfriend for years, the woman I laid beside every night _for years,_" he declared. "Your nothing but a replacement plan."

Hotch pretended that didn't sting. But okay, it did. He was pretty good at not showing it. "Did you not hear me?" Hotch asked, fuming, his voice shaking from anger. "Did you not hear me say Andy burned down your old house and tried to kill the mother of your child and your child?"

Will paused, then decided to take a seat. "Why am I supposed to trust you? You couldn't wait to move in the second I left," he shook his head at the table, then his face softened and hurt took over. "Andy's been my friend for years, and your not anything to me."

Hotch pulled a seat closer to Will's then sat down too. "I get that, but I've known JJ longer than you have," Hotch raised his hand to keep Will from interrupting. "And you should know that I love her too. I'm protective of her, I always have been. It's nothing against you, it's just my personality. I care about her too. And I should've let you know what happened, and I was going to, I was just afraid you'd react irrationally."

Will collapsed his face in his hands. "Like this?" he mumbled.

Hotch nodded. "Yes, exactly. Like this." he sighed, exasperated, his body becoming hard to hold up. He arrived here with roaring adrenaline pulsating through his veins, now it was all drained. "Where did Andy go? Did he tell you?"

Will shook his head from behind his palms, then looked up. "I didn't tell him anything. He's at work, I think," he said, his eyes drooping slightly. He looked tired too. "Do you know where JJ's staying? I should visit her."

Hotch scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.

Will made a face. "Oh, you have got to be kidding me,"

Hotch raised his eyebrows apologetically.

"That's just great." he muttered under his breath.

"But your welcome to visit." Hotch tried. He didn't like the idea of it, but what the hell. Henry _is_ his kid, after all.

The front door creaked open softly, almost inaudibly, but the chilling sound was enough to make both of them jump straight out of their seats. Hotch raised his gun, and motioned for Will to use the back door in the kitchen and head outside. Will stared reluctantly. Hotch mouthed for him to go. Will didn't like the idea, but opened it and crept outside without making a noise. No need to try being stealth now anyway, the loud scraping of the chair legs on the linoleum floor was echoed throughout the whole house.

Andy stepped out from the dark living room and into the kitchen. He didn't look the least bit surprised that Hotch was there.

"Oh, there you are," he smiled broadly. "I thought I saw you at the bonfire, right?"

Hotch felt his jaw cramping up at the word' bonfire.' Bonfire? That's what he calls it? He aimed the gun directly at him.

"It was a pretty good idea," Andy tried, still smiling. "You have to at least give me that."

"The only thing I'm giving you is handcuffs and a prison sentence."

Andy raised his hands and shook them in a mockery I'm-so-startled gesture. This only pissed Hotch off more. "Oh come on, man, that's not fair. A gun? Really? You can't have the balls to fight me like a man?" He flapped his hand at Hotch.

Hotch lowered his gun slightly, anger igniting his veins, adrenaline pouring back in. _Don't do it, Hotch, you have the upper-hand. As long as you have the gun, you have the upper-hand._

"Look, I wasn't going to let her die," Andy insisted, wide-eyed and trying to look innocent. "I was going to save her, honest."

"That's a lie, the entire house was filled with fire, you wouldn't have made it inside alive let alone out with two bodies still breathing."

Andy paused, considered it, then shrugged. "I guess that's true." he snickered. "I guess it was a win-win either way."

Hotch was boiling. He clipped his gun in his gun holster, all the while, a voice told him, _Bring it back out. Your becoming equal to him now! Your acting stupid! Your going to get yourself killed!_ But the other voice, that was much louder, much clearer, enraged him, pushed him.

"Oh, looky there, the gun's put away," Andy waved his finger at him. "Good man. I think too many people hide behind weapons . They're wusses, is what they are."

"That's funny, because I could kill you right now," he lifted the gun and pressed it hard against Andy's forehead, until Andy was backed up completely to the counter. "Huh."

Andy dripped a little sweat across his forehead. "No need to overreact," he smiled innocently. "Your so sensitive. What is it with that girl anyway? I don't get the appeal."

Hotch pressed it harder against his forehead, until the shape of the hole where the bullet flies out leaves a ring on his skin. "Something to think about when your in prison." Hotch said cockily.

"Whatever," Andy said under his breath. "She let me sit on the porch with her. Girls like that," he shook his head. "They're too easy, man. I mean, first Will, then you, then me. How many men did she plan on having inside in one night? And I don't mean inside her house."

Hotch pulled the gun away from his forehead and pulled it back then slammed it hard against his face, until blood spit out and his nose began bleeding.

"Now you're talking." Andy said, his teeth covered with blood. The fact that he was clearly enjoying this only enraged Hotch even more. He thought about JJ, tied to a chair, screaming and crying at the image of her son coming dangerously close to the flame. He hit him hard against the face again with the gun. He thought about JJ falling into his arms, and the ambulance taking Henry and her away from him to give them medical attention. He let the gun drop from his hand and he punched him against the face, with his fist this time. He thought about his comment about JJ being easy. He slammed the back of his head against the cupboard, until Andy's eyes fell closed and he looked to be unconscious.

He let go of his shirt and backed away, looking at his bloody knuckle and the veins protruding in his hands and wrists. He was breathing heavy and sweating. He wanted to kill him. But he couldn't. Andy fell to the floor, spent and bloody and beaten.

"I'm bleeding," Andy said, swallowing.

"Yeah, well, I was going for brain damage, but it's a win-win for me either way." Hotch said, forcing him on his feet and slamming his hard against the kitchen table to handcuff him.

* * *

Hotch had taken him down as an arrest. Andy, all the while, was screaming that he needed a lawyer and it's unjust and all that crap. Hotch promised he'd had a good reason to bring him in and that he'd bring in the victim tomorrow to be interviewed. They agreed to hold him overnight but couldn't do much else until they were positive he was rightfully accused.

Hotch took his time driving home, making sure he didn't let the excitement of the whole day get him carried away. In a way, all he wanted to do was hug her. To completely realize she was safe and that she was okay. That this is all over with. When he walked inside, JJ was cooking, and Henry was seated at the table anxiously awaiting his meal.

"Hey, you're home," she smiled at him. Hotch liked the sound of that. _You're home._ Like it's _their_ home. _Together. _"You were gone long. Did you have fun with Jack?"

He raised his bloody hand and stared at it, then lifted it for her to see. She put the plate down and charged over to him, taking it in her hands. "Oh my God! What happened?" she gave him a look, instantly knowing. "I'm guessing you didn't get into a fight with one of the teachers."

Hotch shook his head, smiling slightly. He sat her down on the couch in the living room across from the kitchen. "I went to see Andy," he announced. JJ's face paled nervously. "He's being held overnight but they're definitely going to have to talk to you before they can do a full arrest."

She nodded. "Yeah, of course, but are you alright?" she touched his arms then his face. He looked down, taking her hands in his.

"Yes, I'm fine." a smirk grew on his face. "Andy? He's a little shaken up..."

She raised her eyebrows. "Shaken up?"

"Or beaten up, either one."

She laughed a little. This completely girly and adorable giggle he'd never quite heard before. It looked so cute to him that without thinking, he pushed her hair away from her face and kissed her. It couldn't go much farther besides that, because Henry was at the kitchen table. But when he pulled away, she was smiling and she really _did_ look happy. At least he hadn't lied to Will. _Oh crap. Will._ Where did Will go anyway?

"Are you hungry?" she asked, standing up and heading to the kitchen. "I'm almost done."

He nodded, watching her walk to the kitchen and fumble around with the dishes and prepare some sort of meal on the table. She turned and looked at him, smiled, then went back to spooning the contents onto the plate. He liked this image. Jack came running in the door, backpack swinging back and forth on his back, running directly over to Hotch. "Daddy!" he called, hopping onto his lap. Hotch cradled him, then tousled his hair playfully. "Your home!"

"Yes, I am," he smiled down at him. "And JJ's making us dinner."

JJ smiled at Jack. "You hungry, Jack?" she called over.

Jack jumped to his feet and pulled a chair out from under the table. JJ took that as a yes.

"I'm so easily replaced by food, apparently," Hotch joked, taking off his jacket. He pulled out a chair beside Jack.

JJ put Hotch's plate down in front of him. "Aw," she pinched his cheek teasingly. "Your irreplaceable."

Jack nodded, agreeing with that statement. "Although she can cook." Jack said, diving his fork into his food.

Hotch laughed, fake-offended. "I can't cook?"

Jack eyed him and shook his head, all serious. "No, dad. You _cannot_ cook." he clarified, smiling cutely, like what he said wasn't at all offensive. Like, at all.

* * *

_Author's note: Damn Andy. Though, I must say, watching Hotch kicks someone's ass is a pretty hot picture. Haha. Hope you guys like it :) And I hope Andy's gone for good. It'd suck if he made a surprise return, huh? _


	12. You Look Good In My Shirt

_Author's note:** BEWARE: **Light and fluffy Hotch/JJ/Jack/Henry moment at the end. Ha! It's kind of a lighter chapter; if you guys don't like it, my bad! If you do, THANK YOU! _

_HAPPY HALLOWEEN! I wish you guys a WONDERFUL Halloween that scares the piss out of you :P I mean, isn't that what you want?_

* * *

I love life because what more is there?

* * *

JJ was curled up in Hotch's old bedroom, looking at the room from the bedside, buried beneath the safety of the comforters and sheets and the pillows. She looked at a lonely picture frame hidden in a corner beside the closet. There used to be one of Hayley and Hotch's wedding pictures in there, but when Hayley divorced him, she'd taken it out, and must of never replaced it with something else. There's a nightstand on either side of the bed, but she didn't open them; I mean, it's not any of her business what Hotch stores beside his bed. Still, it was amazing how lonesome the room looked to her. It looked _too_ big. Like Hotch must be swimming in this place; nothing but fancy curtains and a unisex comforter to keep him stable. No wonder he's always so cranky all of the time.

She crawled out of bed and opened a window a crack to let in some fresh air, and then opened his closet and looked for something to wear to bed. Prentiss had came over earlier after dinner with a stack of clothes for JJ to borrow, and a plan to take her and Garcia shopping this weekend, IF she makes Hotch go costume shopping. JJ agreed instantly. But right now, all she had was fancy sweaters and work pants and two pairs of jeans of Emily's, but nothing cozy enough to wear to bed. She pulled out one of Hotch's plain button-up white work shirts and stripped down, buttoning it up except for three top buttons. The shirt hung loosely on her body, but in a good way. It stopped about mid-thigh. She looked in the mirror, and to her surprise, she didn't look bad. Her hair was messy in a sexy sort of way, barely tousled, with waves carelessly falling down her shoulders. She didn't have make-up on at all, because Emily only brought over the necessities (lipstick, blush, mascara) and decided to go bare instead. Her blue eyes somehow managed to shine even with her pale complexion and sans cover-up.

It was hard to explain, but she felt very _womanly._ Just right. And then she really wanted to see Hotch. Or more accurately, she wanted _him_ to see _her_. She kind of wanted to see his jaw drop and see his dark eyes flicker as he tried to look at every part of her body. He'd probably sit very still, not knowing what to say at first, then stammer out something like, "Is that what your wearing to bed?" or "I thought you were asleep," but it'd come out in a husky, quiet voice that told her he didn't want her to leave. She really wanted to see that, and now that she imagined it so perfectly, she had to see it played out in front of her.

She creaked open the door, peered into the hallway, and with no signs of Jack walking around, she tip-toed, passing Jack's bedroom and then the bathroom. She stopped in front of the bathroom, deciding to adjust one thing before going to see him. She didn't know exactly what, but something. The thought of him seeing her right now kind of made her feel antsy, in a good way, and she needed to do something first. Anything. Floss, stare at herself in the mirror for two minutes straight, drink tap water; she'd figure it out when she went inside.

Twisting the door handle quietly, careful not to wake anybody up, she used her fingertips to gently ease it open. It opened silently, and she looked inside. The bathroom had the same color palette as the bedroom, very unisex, very bland. She pushed it open further, until it was a little less than halfway open. She saw a shadow of something walking in the bathroom, and her first instinct was to shut the door. But she didn't. She leaned against the door frame, as quietly as she could and listened to the soft sound of the faucet dripping, like the water in the shower had just been shut off. The shadow on the wall returned. She tried to stick her head in, but wasn't able to without being spotted.

She looked at the shower curtain, the toilet and - wait, what's this? - Hotch toweling off naked. Her mouth fell open and she put her hand over her mouth to keep from making a noise, like giggling or gasping or anything that would give her away. First her eyes scanned his body viciously: the way his arms muscled as he held the towel, the way he had loose hairs scattered across his chest and a (sexy) trail of hair leading down his stomach and further below teasingly. She brought her index finger to her mouth and bit hard on her nail, just watching him. This is horrible of me, she thought, _look away. _But her eyes deceived her mind. The towel stopped, tied at the side, clinging to his hip bone, and he let it fall carelessly at his feet. She bit harder on her nail. _Stop staring, you stalker._ But when she tried to look away, it didn't work.

Then she saw something she was ignoring all along; too busy with the delicious parts of his body she desired. The scars that Foyet caused, all in astray on his chest and stomach; scars that wouldn't ever go away. She dropped her hand away from her mouth and once she spotted the scars, it was all she saw. She couldn't see his arms or the sexy "happy trail" on his lower stomach, it was only the scars. She backed away, back to Hotch's bedroom and sat on the bed, staying quiet. How horrible she felt for him, it was like she was slowly being drained. Everytime he looked down, everytime he got dressed, everytime he showered, he must have seen the scars. A consistent reminder he couldn't run away from _ever, _as if the horrid memories aren't enough torture. Suddenly the room felt very drafty, and she closed the window, then crawled back into bed and covered up, bringing the comforter and sheets all the up to her chin. The scars stayed in her mind, and now she was sorry she perversely peeked on him.

* * *

The next morning, Hotch prepared breakfast super-early. She walked to the bathroom, brushed her teeth, showered, gotten dressed in a shirt and jeans Emily brought over. She felt very exhausted, not sleeping very well last night. When she came downstairs in the kitchen, both Jack and Henry were seated at the table, awaiting their meals.

"What are you doing?" she asked, clearing her throat. Her voice was raspy in the morning.

Hotch turned around, stirring something in a pan, then putting it on three plates. "Breakfast," he said simply, as if it weren't obvious.

She took the empty seat beside Henry, then smiled at Jack. "Do you need any help?" she asked.

Hotch shook his head, smirking. "No, I've got everything under control," he shot Jack a look. "And you said I can't cook."

Jack dug into his eggs and bacon, then made a pleased facial expression. "I'm sorry, Dad." he said between chewing.

"It's okay; just be careful, don't choke," Hotch said, putting eggs and bacon on the plate in front of JJ.

"It smells great," she said quietly, picking up her fork and staring at her eggs.

Hotch sat down, placing napkins in the center of the table. "Thanks." he watched JJ for a little bit, as she stirred around her eggs like it looked unappealing. "Something wrong?" he asked.

JJ looked up, almost startled, then shook her head. "No, everything looks great." she mumbled, half-smiling.

Hotch frowned at his food, then nudged Jack. "Hey buddy, why don't you take Henry in the living room and watch something on TV with him?"

Jack's eyes instantly lit up like Christmas morning. "Really? We can watch TV?" Jack beamed.

Hotch smiled back, pretending to be equally as enthusiastic about the idea. "Sure," he smiled at Henry. "We'll be in in a minute."

Jack wasted no time plopping out of his chair and helping Henry out of his, then escorting him in the other room. Hotch and JJ smiled at them as they walked away.

Hotch put his fork down and wiped his face with a napkin, then rolled it in a ball. JJ listened at the clock on the wall ticking away. The longer she focused on it's ticking, the stranger it sounded, like it changed every few ticks.

"Are you feeling alright today?" he asked, placing his napkin right on top of his unfinished breakfast. Apparently she's not the only one not hungry.

"I'm just fine," she looked up, obviously lying. "And yourself?"

He raised his eyebrows. "Myself?" he shook his head. "I'm fine."

She tilted her face quizzically. "You are?"

He nodded very slowly, not understanding. "Yes, why do you ask?"

She shrugged, then began picking at her food again. "No reason," she stood up, pushing her seat back. "Should we go join them?"

Hotch stood up and grabbed her hand. "Not yet," he caught her eyes, then stared into them. "I want to talk to you first." he held her hand as he walked her upstairs and into his old bedroom. He closed the door then sat them on the bed.

"Talk to me." he said, sighing.

"I'm fine." she insisted.

He gave her a knowing look. "Yeah, you tried that already; what's going on?" he sighed, looking down, instantly looking sad. "Did I do something?" he looked up at her again, this time frowning.

She touched his shoulder. "Oh no, you did nothing," she looked at him sadly. "It's nothing you did, honest."

"Then what is it?" he let go of her hand. He racked his brain for thoughts. _What could I have done now?_ "Did I move too fast?"

She looked at him funny. "What?"

"Did I move too fast?" he repeated. "When I kissed you again yesterday? I shouldn't have done that."

"No, no," she couldn't tell him fast enough. She kept her hand on his shoulder. "You should have," she giggled. "I mean, I'm glad you did."

His frown twitched a little; maybe trying to form into a smile or a semi-smile. "Then what changed overnight?"

She looked down, her eyes instantly glazing over his fully-clothed chest. He followed her eyes and looked down at himself. "What?" he asked, confused.

"It's your," she didn't know how to say it. She shook her head, removing her hand from his shoulder. "It's nothing."

She stood up to walk away, but he reached for her hands again, and pulled her in front of him; her standing up, him sitting on the bed. She put her hands on his shoulders and looked down at him.

"Please don't leave," he whispered. "I want to know what I did wrong."

"You didn't do anything," she insisted, more stern this time. "Believe me. It's me. I just got scared, is all."

He narrowed his eyes at her. "Scared of what?"

She began untying his tie and then slid it off, letting it drop on his bed. Then she began unbuttoning his shirt, careful and delicate with each button, because she really liked the shirt, she'd slept in it last night. She wondered if he knew that. She wondered if it still smelled like her perfume. He looked down, watching her small hands slip each button through the hole, but not talking. She felt nervous for a second, thinking maybe he was getting the wrong idea; I mean, why else wouldn't he be stopping her?

Though her face was blushing and she was beginning to fumble with the buttons, she was almost done, and now there was just a thin line of skin exposed, until she reached the last button, then it'd fly open, and his scars and secrets would be shown right in front of her.

Hotch grabbed her hands, stopping her. He didn't say a word.

"Your scared because of this?" he asked, sounding hesitant and heavy with disappointment.

She put her hands on each side of his face, making him look up at her. He looked so drenched in sadness, it made her want to squeeze him. "Not because of this," she explained, whispering to him softly. "Not because of sex, or whatever your thinking. It has nothing to do with that."

He looked down, quiet.

"It's because of your scars," she said, shaking her head lightly, looking down at the small line of skin showing. "They scared me. I didn't know it was so bad. I didn't know he hurt you like that." she caught his eye. "Physically, I mean."

He wasn't saying anything. She was afraid she'd gone too far. He was still holding her hands in his, which was a good sign, or so she thought it was.

"I haven't been with anyone since Hayley," he said slowly, him facing down at his lap. "So I haven't had to explain them to anyone."

She frowned at him, though he didn't bother looking up to see it.

"I've thought about this moment," he said, finally looking up, but away from her. It was easier saying it without making eye contact. "With you, I mean. If you ever had to see them. What you'd say; I thought they'd scare you away." his eyes darkened. "And they did."

"Not for why you think," she corrected, leaning on his lap. "I just never imagined it was that bad. You seemed fine at the hospital, when we all visited you."

He shrugged. "Ninety-five percent of the time I'm lying about how I am," he said quietly, almost shamefully. "You should know that."

She blinked. "Sometimes it's hard to tell with you," she said honestly. "Whether you mean it when you say you're okay or not."

He didn't say anything.

"Look, I'm not scared away," she said, sitting on his lap now. He didn't push her off at least. "I don't see you any differently. I was just freaked out, not for any reason but the fact that I don't want to see you hurt that badly. It horrified me."

He still wasn't saying anything.

"Imagine if you saw those scars on me," she tried. "How would you feel?"

He shook his head, his eyes fixed on something on the carpet. "I'd be horrified." he said softly. Then he turned his face and smiled; a little glimpse of something beautiful.

She smiled back, then pulled her face close to his. "So you understand." she whispered.

He nodded, pushing her hair away from her face. She slipped her hand in his shirt and ran her fingers over a scar. It felt long but thin; something disguising a deep cut that must have punctured deeply. "Does it hurt?" she asked, her hands shaking a little as she slid it over to another one.

He shook his head, his eyes meeting hers, his nose touching hers, their forehead's colliding together. Every breath she released he took in. Her breath on him relaxed him. This felt strange, letting someone see or even feel his scars. It was like letting someone see him naked. Hey, if only he knew...

"I'm so sorry, Hotch." she whispered, coming out as almost a whimper.

He tucked her hair behind her ear. And as she grazed across another scar, he flinched.

"Did I hurt you?" she nearly screeched. "I'm so sorry!" she said, yanking her hand away.

He laughed. "No, no, you didn't hurt me," he took her hand back, this time in his own hand. "It just tickled."

"Oh." she laughed slightly. She then stared at him funny, scrunching her nose up at him. He laughed at how adorable that made her look. "A good tickle or a bad tickle?"

"There's such a thing as a 'bad tickle'?"

She looked up at the ceiling, pondering this. "I don't know," she then looked at him, smirking. "Have we really resorted to discussing these types of topics?"

He looked up, now pondering this. "I think so." he decided, nodding in her direction.

She laughed. Jack, holding Henry's small hand in his, pushed open the door. JJ fell off his lap immediately, sitting back down on the bed beside him.

"Henry wants you," Jack said, letting Henry run eagerly over to his mother. JJ scooped him up and fell back on the bed, tickling his stomach, making him laugh. Jack ran up and began jumping on the bed, taunting Hotch by swinging his tie around.

"Put that down!" Hotch laughed, reaching for it poorly.

"Hide it! Hide it!" JJ screamed, grabbing it and running around the room with it. Hotch jumped up, picking her up and swinging her around, making her laugh so hard her stomach pinched.

"Okay! Okay! I give up!" she squealed.

"No! Pass it over here!" Jack insisted. She chucked the tie and Jack ran out of the bedroom with it.

Henry sat on the bed laughing his head off. "What are you looking at?" Hotch said to Henry, tackling him playfully. "Aren't you on my side?" Henry nodded agreeably.

JJ put her hands on her hips, fake-offended. "Ugh, no fair," she looked at Hotch cockily. "Fine, I'm team Jack!" she said, sticking her tongue out at him then running out of the bedroom.


	13. Must Be Doing Something Right

_Author's note: Lighter chapter. Though the next might be a little darker; I have an idea for this. Though the High School Musical part was fun to write! I hope it doesn't offend anyone ;)  
_

_

* * *

_

Later on that evening, JJ was folding clothes on Hotch's old bed. She folded the sweaters Prentiss allowed her to borrow temporarily in a casual pile collecting kind of sloppily on the edge of the bed, but the clothes of Hotch's that she'd worn the last couple of days not only reeked heavily of her perfume and shampoo but also felt rougher on her skin, like the several washes she'd put the dress shirts through were wearing them out. She ran her fingers along the white one, tracing the delicate buttons, thinking back to it being ripped open and exposing the scars to her. Though she had seen Hotch totally naked - thanks to her inability to look away while peeping - it felt like she'd seen a completely different side of him once she'd seen the scars.

Hotch knocked gently on the door a few times with his knuckles. JJ turned around, fixed her hair and patted the pile of shirts stacking high on the opposite side of his bed. "Come in." she announced, her voice sounding kind of squeaky coming out.

"Are you sure?" he asked behind the door.

She walked up and twisted the door handle then opened it for him, stepping aside so he could come in. "It's your room." she said.

He smiled awkwardly at her then stepped in, surveying the room with his eyes cautiously, like all of a sudden it was going to be totally redecorated with candles that smell like cupcakes and flowers in vases and his alarm clock would be hot pink miraculously.

But nothing changed. Same ol' boring room he was too fond of. He frowned a little at the sight, then sat on the bed, trying not to disturb anything, as if it wasn't his room.

"I hope I didn't mess anything up," she said, standing in the middle of the room, playing with her hands as she talked. "I'm trying to keep everything very organized. I know you like that."

He raised his eyebrows, scanning the room. "Believe me, you'd be surprise at how easy it is for this place to get chaotic." he commented.

"I think it's nice," she smiled.

He half-smiled back at her. Noticing the way the light blue sweater she had on drew attention directly to her similar-colored eyes, he cocked his head to the side. "Could you come over here?" he asked, kind of quietly and hesitantly.

She nodded, sitting about three inches away from him on the bed. "Is something wrong?" she asked him, her tone equally as quiet and soft and reluctant.

"No, not at all," he responded with a shake of his head. "I just wanted to see you."

She laughed lightly. "Check up on me?" she joked, her smile seemingly lighting up the entire room. "Make sure I didn't trash your room?"

He smiled a little. "No," he looked up at her. "Just to see you."

JJ rubbed her hands together, that were beginning to feel a little clammy now. She hadn't realized how anxious she felt sitting right beside him. A good anxious; kind of like when your at a carnival and you decide to ride on the scariest, highest ride there, and just as you climb on and buckle up, you realize how there's no turning back. Just like that. It was soaring through her veins and igniting her nerves and hormones and every time she breathed in and inhaled the soft scent of his freshly-washed hair - that was still semi-damp from the shower - she felt it shoot chills that revved up every bone in her body.

JJ had the same effect on him. He leaned a little closer, her eyes casting a spell on him. There wasn't any turning back now. He could just invision what was going to happen next. He could picture it clearly, he'd even dreamed about it, and he could see it happening right now. But he still felt kind of scared about the idea. Like he was going to hurt her somehow.

"What are you thinking about?" she whispered. She was so captivated by the dimmed lights in his room, the way the soft light gave Hotch's face an intense glow, the way he smelled so deliciously tempting, the way she could almost just imagine feeling his strong hands on her skin. Just the thought made her whole body feel nervous and excited and dangerous.

He looked down, then back into her eyes. "Something that I," he looked at the carpet, shaking his head. Then back at her. "Something that I shouldn't be thinking about."

She drew her bottom lip underneath her top teeth and bit on it. Hotch wondered if she knew how much that was driving him crazy. She tilted her head to the side, her eyes meeting his. He couldn't sit still much longer; did she know that too? Was this her whole plan? Just when he thought she couldn't tease him any more, she flipped her hair over one shoulder casually, like she wasn't totally screaming sex appeal, and leaned forward until her lips just barely grazed his neck.

Nuzzling her face into it, letting out soft murmuring noises every few seconds, he closed his eyes and tried to keep his hands safely nestled on his lap. "JJ." he barely muttered out. It came out more like a moan or a strong sigh.

"Mm?" she whispered, moving her lips until they tickled his neck.

He couldn't respond. His breath was being ripped from him and it felt indescribably amazing. He couldn't imagine lacking oxygen to feel any sweeter.

She opened her lips and began kissing his neck, then lifted her mouth to his earlobe and then kissed there, then brought her lips to his ear, exhaling soft breaths into it. The breaths tickled and made him shudder. "What are you thinking about _now_?" she asked; and maybe Hotch imagined it, but her tone sounded very seductive, like she knew how much this was killing him.

"What?" he whispered, though he had heard her. He just couldn't seem to fully function actual words.

"What are you thinking about?" she repeated, moving her face to the side of his, nuzzling her nose up against his cheek.

"Mm," he mumbled, putting his arm around her back. "Whatever you say."

She giggled a little. "You're not actually hearing me, are you?" she didn't seem to mind.

He shook his head lightly. "I can't focus." he admitted, swallowing.

"That's alright," she said, looking at him. "You don't have to focus on anything but this."

Pulling him in by the collar of his shirt, her lips met his. He nodded between the kisses, slowly dipping her on the bed. "I can do that." he whispered into her mouth. He wasn't sure if she heard him or not. Like it mattered.

He lowered her on the bed until her head was safely placed on the comforter, and his body was tightly squeezed on top of hers. Even though they both had on a fairly large amount of clothing to shield their skin, the warmth of their bodies rapidly sped up their temperatures.

His tongue met hers and he flicked it inside of her mouth, making her release a soft whimper. "Didn't you ask me what I was thinking about?" he asked, finally registering the question completely.

She nodded, not allowing his face to stray from hers.

He pulled away long enough to speak. "I'm thinking about something," he said, staring into her eyes. Her eyes were the exact same color of her shirt; he knew it. _Prentiss really ought to give that to her. _"But I don't know how to say it."

She started invisibly drawing hearts on the side of his neck with her fingertip. She waited for him to talk again.

"I just _really_ don't want to mess this up." he said, his tone switching gears from soft and husky to scared and sad.

Her lips shaped into a frown and her face softened. "Mess what up?" she asked, with a sad smile.

He was still frowning. "This," he clarified. He used whatever upper body strength he had to hold himself up above her, careful not to let their bodies get too close. The excitement of feeling her body pressed against his was much too distracting. "I don't want to screw another thing up. I don't think I could handle it."

"You're not going to." she said.

"But I have before," he sighed through his closed mouth. "With Hayley. I lost her, didn't I?"

"That was different," she said, shaking her head. "You're not going to lose me."

He sighed, unconvinced.

She traced another heart, this time on his cheek. She could see that those words weren't enough to make him believe it. He had to _see_ it, or better, he had to _feel_ it. She took his strong hands, the ones she'd pictured pouring heavily over her skin, and slipped her fingers through his. His fingers were thicker than hers, and felt rougher, but strong and warm and everything she'd imagined.

When the sadness seemed to slide away from his face just a little bit, she took it as a sign that what she was doing was enough to make him _see_. Now onto _feeling_. She started unbuttoning his shirt, and his body tensed, and not in a good way. Like any minute he might pull away and leave.

She continued unbuttoning anyway, even though he kind of flinched every time another button loosened then popped out and more skin was visible. Once she reached the last button, she opened it as slowly as she could, watching as the scars became more visible as more light cast over them.

His face darkened, and he refused to look at her.

"Hey," she whispered. He looked at her. "I'm not afraid of them anymore." she whispered, kissing his collarbone, the one place on his chest that was free of marks. His body tensed again, but this time from what she was doing. He buried her face in her hair and said something that was inaudible.

"What?" she whispered in his shoulder.

He shook his head. "Keep going." he breathed in her ear. It sounded like it was a struggle to keep his breath. She took it as a good sign, of course.

"I thought you were afraid?" she asked, her voice low and sexy and teasing. Though she'd ask that, giving him plenty of opportunity to up and leave if he wished, she'd kept kissing him, her lips meeting his shoulder.

He groaned slightly.

She pulled away and ran her fingers along the scars.

His arms started to shake and jolt the longer he held his body up, then he fell onto his back, beside her, breathing. "You don't have to." he said, laying flat on the bed, eying the ceiling and the fan above them.

Her heart ached with strong sympathy at that moment. She sat up, tracing a circle around his belly button, where a little patch of dark hair is sprawled out. She felt his abs tense every time she went around in the same direction repeatedly. Each time, he sucked in a breath and then sealed his eyes shut, his face tightening, too.

She finally climbed on top of him and lead his hands to the bottom of her sweater, that was clinging to her waist.

He stared at her. "What?" he whispered, confused on what she wanted him to do.

She bit her bottom lip again, this time her eyes flickering naughtily, leaving a ghostly-like presence behind as he felt her hands slip from his. "Take it off." she whispered.

He tried to read her face. For a second, he thought she might be kidding. When he didn't do it, she lifted the bottom of the sweater up slightly, leading the way. Once he figured out she wasn't kidding, he pulled it up over and tossed it on one of the pillows up by the headrest.

"JJ, like I said, you don't have to." Though he was saying that, it was inevitably obvious that he still wanted her to. The tightness of his thin material work pants beneath her jeans said it all.

* * *

_We're all in this together... _flowed from the speakers of the living room TV.

JJ scrunched up her face and lifted her head, looking around the room. The sun was lighting up only Hotch's side of the bed, the one closest to the window, which they'd stupidly forgotten to close last night. She rubbed her eyes and pushed her hair back, propping herself up on her elbows. She was still adjusting to being awake.

Hotch rubbed his eyes almost the identical way she had, lifting his head. "JJ?" he asked.

"Mm?" she mumbled, half-asleep, staring at the blah-colored wall before her.

"Do you hear that?" he asked, giving the ceiling an odd look.

"Like annoying kids trying to sing?" she mumbled. "Yes." she threw her head back on the pillow.

Hotch sighed, rolling his eyes. "Jack must be watching _High School Musical_."

She scoffed. "Jack watches -"

He cut her off. "Don't ask." he pulled the comforter off of him, sitting up on the edge of the bed. She leaned over, sliding her hand up the middle of his back.

"Oh, your such a good dad," she cooed, a smile in her tone.

"You think?" he said, smirking, rubbing his sleepy forehead. It was still numb and oblivious to the morning.

"Mhm," she nodded, biting down gently on his earlobe. "I know it."

"Do you think I should make him turn it down?" he debated, glancing at her over his shoulder.

"I'd make him turn it off," she concluded. "Stop his liking for it before he actually attends high school. It might be a letdown when he finds out that high school doesn't actually consist of gay men dancing around with basketballs."

He gave her a funny look, then laughed, shaking his head.

"What?" she asked. "I've seen it before too, you know."

He looked up, noticing the open window. "Damn," he muttered, standing up. "We forgot to close this before we..."

She wiggled her eyebrows, laying across his pillow.

"Oh my God, do you think anybody heard us?" he asked, panicked, slamming it closed.

"I doubt it," she rocked her feet back and forth. "Although if anyone was heard, it was you."

"Ha-ha," he said sarcastically, crawling back in bed and throwing the comforter over the two of them. She nestled her head on his chest, his heartbeat filling her right ear. "Says the woman who was doing a fist-pump motion when she reached her breaking point."

She laid there, quiet. Well? He had a point.

* * *

_Author's note: Uh-oh! Hope no one heard that! All I picture is JJ doing a fist-pump motion. Classic! I thought it'd make for an interesting addition to Hotch and JJ's lovemaking. _


	14. I Could Kick Your Ass

_Author's note: Short chapter. It's one filled with drama. Hope it's alright. _

_P.S. This story may go on forever. It seems like I'll never end it. HA. Maybe I won't ;)_

_

* * *

_Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice.

* * *

"Did you make sure the stove was shut off when we left?" Hotch asked, walking inside the BAU with JJ directly by his side. She smirked at him a little, then put her hand at the spot that's beneath your rib cage but above your hip bone.

"Yes, yes, I made sure," she cocked her head to the side, still smirking at him. She was still kind of facing an excessively long high from last night. Like butterflies formed all around her body this morning. Like if she jumped high enough she'd pick up and fly into the sky. Eventually the airy feeling at the soles of her feet and the fluttering in the pit of her stomach should wear off. She hoped it wouldn't. But nothing lasts forever, as we've all come to know. "What are you so worried about?"

Hotch shifted, backing away slightly, until her hand slipped from his side. She frowned at the distance between them that suddenly grew wider. "I just worry about things like that," he said, sighing. "I don't want my house to burn down." JJ's face darkened.

He sighed, realizing he obviously hit a nerve, and touched her shoulder. For some reason, his hand on her shoulder didn't feel nearly as passionate as how it felt when he touched her last night or when they'd woken up. Right now, his touch feels distant and very platonic. Like they hadn't just slept together. Like she wasn't staying at his house, helping with his child. "I didn't want to offend you, it's just," he sighed, his face getting a little closer to hers so no one could overhear. "I mean, I don't want it to happen at my house either."

She frowned, nodding lightly. "Obviously," she said, whispering back. She couldn't quite understand why they were whispering, anyway. Everyone knew about her house-fire. About Andy. There was nothing to hide. "It's not a good thing when your house catches fire." she said sarcastically, flipping her hair over her shoulder.

Hotch could easily sense the tension growing thick between them. He released his hand from her shoulder and sighed. "I should get to my office." he said coldly, turning, briefcase in his hand, walking up the steps to his small space like it was any other day and she was just JJ, the Behavioral Analysis Liason. She sighed, turned on her heels and walked to her office as well.

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JJ relaxed in her chair, the leather crinkling underneath her, the chair's wheels squealing a little. It's nice to relax. It's nice to not think. Until her eyes glance at the stack of papers building minute by minute on her desk. Then she's overwhelmed. Her eyes flashed off to the consistent red blinking text saying she has one new message on her work phone. Her work phone? How unusual. Then she remembered: her phone got burned down. She really ought to buy another on her way home; it's imperative she has one.

She reached forward, sighing, and then pressed PLAY for the message to play aloud. Instantly, Will's voice struck her heart. It's hard to explain how it felt. Kind of hurt, kind of anxious.

_Hey JJ, it's me, Will. I haven't really talked to you in a couple of days. I hope that whole situation with your supervisor is working out. Honestly._

The slight laugh in his tone made JJ smile.

_At first, I wasn't sold on the idea. But as long as you and my little man are okay, I'm okay, too. Please call me, though. I want to at least say something to Henry. And you, for that matter. I know it's weird right now... but I still care about you. I can't stop caring about you that easily. Anyway, call me when you can. _

The voice stops, but the sound of slight static lets her know he didn't hang up yet.

_Look, I know what happened with Andy. I know that it's hard to trust me alone with Henry considering the type of people I associate myself with, but I promise Andy's gone. There's no one else that I know that could hurt him. I wouldn't let them. I hope you know that if I knew Andy was planning to do that to you, I would've been there in a heartbeat._

The slight static is all that she hears again.

_Anyway, call me soon. Bye._

Finally the answering machine makes a soft click and the message is over. She mulled over this. Call him back right now? No, she had work. Call him back when she gets home? No...but she should call him back. She deleted the message and opened a file, ready to return back to work. Suddenly dealing with serial killers seems easier.

* * *

Morgan knocked on Hotch's door. Morgan being his typical impatient self, didn't wait long enough for Hotch to give him the go-ahead. Hotch looked up from his paper, pen in his hand, then looked back down.

"Hey, it's nice to see you around here again," Morgan said, standing about four feet away from his desk. "You've kind of been MIA lately."

Hotch nodded. "Yeah, I've been really busy."

Morgan nodded understandably. Morgan _did_ understand. He figured Hotch needed some downtime anyway. Cramming a bunch of cases into his brain without any relaxing can really get to a guy, Morgan knew that very well. But he was also concerned about his well-being. "So, JJ's good, right?"

Hotch looked up, stunned. Then he nodded slowly. "Yes, she's fine," he closed the file, suddenly all focused on Morgan. "Has she said otherwise?"

Morgan shook his head. "She hasn't said anything actually; about you, I mean," he paused, narrowed his eyes at him intently, then smirked a little. "Why? Is something going on between you two?"

Hotch's face stayed serious as always. "No, not really. I gave her a place to stay when she needed help," Hotch reopened the file, locking his eyes back on it. "You guys would've done the same."

"Absolutely," Morgan said softly, walking closer. He put his hands on his desk. "But I don't think any of us men would've gone as far as sleeping with her."

Hotch gulped. He sat back in his chair. "I thought you said she didn't say anything?"

"She didn't." Morgan reached for his cell phone, opened it and stuck it in Hotch's face. Hotch grabbed it, saw a small thumbnail picture of the video currently loading and gulped again. He didn't have to play the video to know what it showed. The thumbnail picture showed Hotch's bedroom clear as day. Hotch and JJ sitting on the bed, their backs turned to the window, fully-clothed. For the time-being.

The video automatically started playing. It was hard to make out what they were saying, but what they were doing was no harder to see than rain in a downpour. The second the video showed JJ on top of Hotch, he shut Morgan's phone, his skin hot and his cheeks flushed.

"What the hell is this, Hotch?" Morgan asked.

Hotch's mouth felt dry. He sipped his coffee cup, but it didn't make the warmth on his face cool down any. If only, it felt like it intensified, like he had poured the coffee on his face. "What do you mean?" Instantly he felt defensive. "I don't interrogate you with the many women you sleep with. I never pry into your personal life."

Morgan looked defensive, too. "I don't give a damn about you sleeping with JJ, Hotch. This much I figured. I mean, come on man, it looked like you two were fooling around before Will was long gone."

Hotch rubbed his forehead. He was trying to drown out Morgan's words, but it was hard. The pounding sound of his head seemed to be helping a little bit.

"But what is JJ going to think of this? I thought you were above this. A sex tape, Hotch? Really? Did JJ know," Morgan paused, pausing when someone walked by his office, then lowered his voice to a soft but stern whisper. "Did she know you were filming?"

Hotch slammed his hand hard on his desk, furious. He jolted to his feet. "I wasn't taping us!" he yelled between his gritted teeth. "I don't know how the hell you got a video tape of it! I don't even know who was taping us." Suddenly the very thought of someone standing outside their window filming them made us head feel dizzy.

"Alright," Morgan sighed. "I didn't mean to jump to conclusions. It just seems kind of out-there to figure somebody would actually waste their time filming two people going at it. Seems kind of useless if you ask me, unless they had a motive -"

"Like send it to everyone I work with?" Hotch interjected.

Morgan paused. He raised his eyebrows. "I don't think everyone got it...do you think he actually sent it to everyone?"

Hotch pushed past Morgan, his shoulder bumping hard against his, and exited his office. Morgan following behind him, anxious to find out for himself. Hotch walked down the steps, up to the little area where Reid, Prentiss and Morgan work together. He stood above them, hands on hips, Morgan trailing directly behind.

Reid met his eyes only for a split second. Prentiss refused to look up. She even made a little noise. Maybe a snort? A scoff? Hotch wasn't too sure. Maybe he imagined it.

"You guys saw the video, didn't you?" Hotch demanded.

Reid looked up sympathetically, his eyes meeting his, then back down to his hands.

Hotch threw his hands up, storming back up to his office. Morgan followed. "Hotch, come on man, wait up!" he called. Hotch pushed open the door until the door knob met the wall and slammed hard against it, leaving a paint chip the size of the door knob. "It's not that big of a deal if you think about it, it's not like you're the first guy to sleep with his coworker."

"I'm seriously not in the mood for jokes right now if this is you're attempt at one." Hotch said, his jaw tight and his tone sharp.

Morgan sighed, about ready to give up comforting him. "Do you have any idea who could've done this?"

Hotch pondered. He remembered the morning. Him noticing the window being open, JJ saying that she doubt anyone heard them...then for some reason, the thought of Andy popped into his head. But no. He arrested Andy. He made damn certain he was locked away. And for Hotch, being locked up didn't feel like enough. Though he was miles away, locked in a depressing cell, it wasn't enough. He still had the hunger to kick his ass harder than he did.

What about Will? No. Why would the girl he's sleeping with ex-boyfriend film them having sex? What would that accomplish? Whatever this person was intending on getting at, they sure accomplished one thing: They managed to embarrass the hell out of Hotch. And wait until JJ finds out.


	15. Letter From Author

**HIATUS WARNING. Please read below.**

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Hey everyone. It's Carrie here. This is obviously not an actual chapter, it's an explanation as to why I won't be posting newer chapters for a little while. I'm not sure for how long exactly, but I'm sure that it won't be as soon as I'd hoped. I felt I owed you guys some sort of an explanation, since I have in the past put stories aside and never finished them up. I wanted to make certain that all of you readers know that I am not letting go of this story. I definitely want to see it to the end; I already have some ideas of how I'm going to finish it.

The reason why I'm going on a hiatus is because I haven't been in a writing mood at all lately. I haven't been able to sit down and write anything remotely crafty, so I think it's unfair to give you guys halfheartedly written chapters, when in the past I made sure they met my satisfaction before posting them. I am still receiving notifications daily on some of my stories - I cannot thank you enough for your support - and I wanted to ask you guys to be patient with me.

I'm not sure when my flair for writing will return. I may end up posting a chapter sooner than I think; I'm not really sure. As of right now, though, I'm too much over my head with my issues right now to concentrate on this. It's unfair to you guys to leave you out in the cold, so I'm posting this for you. I hope you understand.

There's three stories I am going to be continuing: _Right For Me, Roll With It _and _Scout's Honor. _I intend on posting chapters for those whenever I can sit down and enjoy writing again. Once again, I ask for your patience with me, and I hope that when I do come back, your interest in these stories has remained the same.

Thank you for your time and THANK YOU, from the bottom of my heart, for reading my work and always being so kind to me. I cannot say how much that means to me.

Sincerely & with love, Carrie. XO.


	16. Letter From Author 2

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**

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Hey everyone. Recently I posted an Author's Note saying that my stories would be put on hiatus. And they were, for quite some time. I needed that break. I needed to give myself time to reoperate, to get myself together; ultimately, to get myself out of this slump I constricted myself to. Nevertheless, I didn't get myself out of it. I was actually only getting worse. Turns out, the only thing I needed all along was someone to remind me of something. That someone was my mother. We had a long talk, that was very eye-opening. In short, she basically gave me reason to push forward and stop feeling sorry for myself. I needed that. Since then, I've been better. Far more optimistic about the future. I've even forced myself to sit my ass down and focus on my main goal - to become an author. It's not going to happen unless I write, write, write!

Anyway, now that I've stretched this on long enough, I want to let you guys know that I fully intend on picking these stories back up VERY soon. I'll keep this note up for a while, delete the other one, and ask that you give me EVEN more patience than you have already so I can meet up with the stories again, get to know them like a friend, and get back on track.

It's also very comforting to me that I had people reviewing my stories, adding them to their favorites, messaging me and giving my stories very much attention even while I was distant from them. That always made me very happy seeing that. To some people, that may not have been a big deal, but in my state of mind at the time, it was - and also, writing stories is like creating something very special to me, and getting people to acknowledge them AND appreciate them, makes me THRILLED.

Alright, well, at this rate, I could have finished all chapters I'm due for ;) Thanks for being there for me, you guys! And by the way, I'm back! :)

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Sincerely, Carrie. XO.


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